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Tag Archives: universities

#287: If you don’t want people to find out you are a ‘sex pest’, don’t pester them for sex.

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July 4, 2012
Abuse, Feminism, How Not To Be, how to say no, manipulation, Personal Safety, predators, Reader Questions, saying no, the gift of fear
100 Comments
Privilege Denying Dude Meme: "Joins feminist society only to pick apart everything said."

There’s always one.

Dear Captain,

Long time reader, occasional commenter and seriously in need of reassurance, or clarity over what has just happened. My experience with men is limited, although in the current academic year I have had three men throw themselves at me – only one of which was appreciated. Have had many unpleasant experiences with men and relationships, have only just started to come out of a shell and was doing well at my current university as a post-grad until the following incidents occurred. Now feeling the urge to go and hide in a corner/walk away from my degrees.

In brief: my supervisor introduced me to a friend of his – another PG student at the university who has the same political leanings, socio-economic background and on the surface a lot in common with me. A couple of friendly e-mails were exchanged. Then we went for a coffee. All very pleasant – the guy was genuinely funny and seemingly good company.

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#281: Oh goody. More stalking.

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June 28, 2012
Abuse, How Not To Be, manipulation, Mental Health, Personal Safety, Reader Questions, saying no, the gift of fear
56 Comments

Calming Manatee saying "Sit with me sweetie, I'll pop the kettle on."Hello, friends. Here is a photo of a calming manatee and a wee child. Here are baby bunnies sleeping. Here is a female film director holding her Oscars. This is Bates from Downton Abbey wearing a flannel shirt and holding a baby. This is two female Navy officers kissing and telling. This and this are network TV shows with complicated, three-dimensional protagonists played by brilliant black actors.

Find some image that makes you feel okay and hopeful about the world, because we’re talking about stalking again.

Dear Captain Awkward,

I started seeing my current boyfriend in fall semester of this year, although the fact that we had both had bad experiences with long-term relationships led to us taking our relationship slowly and not becoming “official” until the beginning of spring semester. His ex-girlfriend was abroad when we first started dating and came back for spring semester. Through a friend she shared with my boyfriend, she discovered our relationship and has been harassing me ever since. At first it just involved her blocking me from an on-campus organization I wished to join, which, while unpleasant, is hardly unheard of. However, it quickly escalated to her actively damaging my reputation, verbally abusing my friends, physically knocking into me when we happened to cross paths, and even pouring a drink on me at a party we both happened to attend.

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