Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
Jolly's great comment to Monday's post is going to be very relevant to these seemingly very different questions: "You also don’t necessarily have to bring some of these things up in one big confrontation about The Whole Pattern Of Her Sucking. You could just make a point of standing up for yourself when she does … Continue reading #468 and #469: “Hey, knock it off”, or, Constructive Conflict, Continued.
I'm in grad school for creative writing. It's hard. Right now, I'm taking three classes, which means that I'm reading 500-plus pages a week, in addition to commenting on my classmates' writing and producing a poem every week. Plus, I'm teaching a basic composition course for struggling writers, and a literature course (for the first … Continue reading #459: Do I have to destroy my health to be in grad school?
More on the theme of parents & communication with adult children today. Dear Captain Awkward, I've been reading your blog for just a few days now but I already caught on to the important part 'speak up for yourself'. Now my problem is that I can't. Or rather I can't make myself. I've grown up … Continue reading #340: How do you say “I don’t love you?”
I’m having some trouble with my sister that I don’t know how to deal with. Basically, she’s a huge flake. Often when we make plans to spend time together, she’ll change her plans and not tell me until the last minute (when or after we were supposed to meet) and sometimes not at all. She … Continue reading #282: Making plans with flaky sister isn’t working.
Hi, Captain Awkward: I used to have a really hard time using my words, but therapy is awesome and now I will totally tell people, in words, when what they are doing really needs to stop. I'm stuck, though, on how to respond to people who repeatedly ignore my words when I use them. Example, … Continue reading #270: I’m using my words, but the other people aren’t listening. What now?
Hi Captain, I'm in a bit of a pickle, so I'm hoping you might be able to give me some advice. I broke up with my boyfriend about two years ago, after being in a relationship for about as long. Now, unfortunately, he sent me an email asking me which job to pick (one is … Continue reading #262: An ex who won’t let go.
Dear Captain Awkward, Seven weeks ago my husband of six years told me he wants a divorce. There is no room for negotiation on his side. We've been to a marriage counselor a few times since he told me, and have spent most of the sessions talking about how we'll divide the assets, deal with the house, … Continue reading #250: How do I tell people about my divorce?
Dear Captain Awkward: I'm a transman - reasonably attractive, fairly extroverted, early in my transition. I have recently moved to a new city and found a group of people who are both awesome (sharing similar interests and drives) and supportive of my transition. I even started dating a nice young man in this group. Then … Continue reading Question # 164: Redrawing boundaries with a possessive ex.
Dear Captain Awkward, My husband and I had our first baby almost three months ago. We rent a house and sublet one of our bedrooms to a thirty-something woman who is causing me a lot of aggravation. While I would gladly DTMFA, she is friends with an awful lot of my gaming friends, and it's … Continue reading Reader question #106: How do I get rid of my terrible roommate without causing mutual-friend drama?