We are overdue for the blog feature where I answer the search strings people typed in to find this place as if they are questions. Let's do it! First, as is traditional, a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ccC4aULow RIP to one of the coolest, realest artists I was lucky enough to share the space-time continuum with. :cries … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Spring 2020
Hello! Search terms have piled up, let's do the thing where we answer the search strings people typed in that led them here as if they are questions. Context is missing (by design), so expect some comedy answers in between with the sincere stuff. Let's kick things off with a song. Have I used this … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Cruel Summer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrdI2iC-sYY It's time for the monthly ritual where I answer the questions that people typed into search engines to find this place. 1 "I have a crush on a guy who treats me badly." Crushes can be fun, but unlike what you've seen on Buffy The Vampire Slayer and every other show/movie/comic, love doesn't turn … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: November Has Come
It's time for the monthly-ish post where we answer the things that people typed into search engines as if they are questions. 1. "Captain Awkward help my boyfriend keeps trying to optimise me. Eff that dude. He's not your Pygmalion and you are not a project. 2. "How should you act when you see your … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: The Lusty Month of May
"Should I go out with a guy I don't like?" Nope.
What search terms are leading people to Captain Awkward? Let's add punctuation and answer them like questions. 1. "What's wrong with me? My boyfriend wants to be with me all the time but I don't." Nothing is wrong with you, it just seems like you want different stuff. If this is about the amount of … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: The Jidoon are on the Moon in June
The monthly(ish) roundup of the questions people type into search engines to find this blog. 1. "My partner thinks I have genital warts but I have herpes what do I do?" Both of you should get a full STI screen, if you haven't already, and talk about whatever you find there. ('Cause maybe it's both). … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: SMARCH
These are edited slightly for punctuation, but otherwise unchanged. Find out how people find this blog! 1. "Do I tell my son's teacher he has a crush on her?" No. What possible good could come of this? 2. "How to react when your cousin brother loses his mom." Tell him you are very sorry for … Continue reading It Came from the Search Terms, 14 for 2014
Creepily, I can see what Google searches bring people to this blog. Sometimes it's fun to try to help these searchers out. "I think I'm very unattracted to my boyfriend, is that a good reason to break up?" Yes. One of the best, in fact. "Do I text the girl that blew me?" Depends. Do … Continue reading Live from the search terms!
I love seeing what search terms bring people here to Captain Awkward Dot Com Enterprises. "Today can eat a bag of dicks." "Wealthy women have needs, too." "How do I find a rich bad girl?" In this post, I'll try to answer some of the questions I found in my search terms. Sometimes you don't … Continue reading “My boyfriend breaks things when we don’t have sex.”