Tag Archives: making friends

Would these three have become friends without the influence of Big Evil Danger?

Commander Logic took this one on for me.  All hail Commander Logic!

Hi there Captain Awkward,

Following your great advice to my previous queries, here’s another that maybe could just have gone into the comments thread of ‘You don’t have to make it work out‘.

So, my lab supervisor took up a shiny new position in a city an hour’s drive away. He moved all his post-docs but not his PhD students, on the grounds that most of his students are coming to the end of their second or third years (PhD’s here take 3-4yrs) and that therefore it wouldn’t fair to uproot them at such an important time. I however am only coming to the end of my first year and therefore have another three years to go.

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Dear Captain Awkward:

Since the new year began, I’ve been having some fairly serious life issues. I had a major panic attack in January, and then my house caught on fire at the end of February. I’ve been really struggling to keep my head above water. I finally started seeing a therapist, changed my work schedule to accommodate my needs, and moved into a new place. During this time, I definitely had some tried and true friends support me, but it felt really scattered and only as a response to the immediate incident, but not the after effects.

I ended up meeting up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in years (we had a falling out, then reconnected on Facebook, but hadn’t actually met up and hung out together in about two years), and she was talking about some difficulties she’d had recently with an increasingly abusive ex-partner making threats against her and her new partner. She started talking about her community, and about how they rallied around her as a support system. One of my flatmates who was living with me in the house that caught on fire also seemed to have had a big community support system come out to help her through the emotional aftermath. I know that the former friend’s community is revolved around the queer community in the bay, which I’d love to be involved in, but again…I don’t know how, and then the latter friend’s community is largely built of lifelong friends and friends from her Aikido group.