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Ahoy there,
I have this general problem. I am almost 30, and I am not a grown-up person. I am a college drop out, have never had a ‘real’ job. I’m working for almost 3 years now at a job that doesn’t pay a lot, but really easy and it’s basically the only one I could get. And I also still live with my mum [I live in a country which is in a constant, 25-years long economical crisis, so it’s not really easy to get away from that] Also, most of my life I’ve been really shy, so no girlfriend ever either. I do feel much more confident in last 2-3 years, but some things I still cannot overcome.

Most important, I cannot commit to anything really. Whatever I start doing [like trying to learn some program language to maybe be able to work in IT], I never finish, I easily get bored, lose concentration. It’s like that with almost everything. I always delay things, because of laziness and sometimes fear. I get in a fight with a family members cause I’m keeping everything inside, and than it explodes and I [and them] say stupid things. I don’t even know what I want to be in terms of professional career. I have one idea, start reading about that, than I get bored and go to something else.
I live in a small town, most of my friends moved to a bigger city. I want it too, but in order to do that, I’d have to find a job. That is really hard right now even for someone who has a college diploma and better skills than me. I know I’m not stupid, I know I am good at some things [though my knowledge in any area is too general], but how do I make that step and start really trying hard to be better at something? Obviously, that’s not my only problem, but I feel like I have to change something in this area to be able to improve in some others…

El Capitan

Elodie Under Glass here.

Yes, adulthood is a scary horse. You can make up all sorts of excuses not to get onto its back: “Oh, I have a funny feeling in my leg. My horse allergy is playing up.” But in the meantime, you’re not winning any races, and everyone else knows that you’re secretly afraid of horses. Your dreams are big! Your intentions are good! But you have to get on the horse.

Captain Awkward: The Horses In Costumes Edition

“Hey kids! COME FOR A WILD RIDE IN A RECESSION ECONOMY.”

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PurposePost

"Man, wish someone would tell me what my destiny wa- what's this?"

Humblest apologies from your friend Commander Logic as I figured out exactly what the eff WordPress was up to and could not locate the “preview” button. Away we go!

Dear Captain Awkward,

I need your help. It is three months till I graduate and I hate my degree and I hate the course I am doing and I have done for the last few years. I am the first person in my family who had the potential to go to university and to do a hard Science degree, I was always interested in Science and Biology and I thought it would transition well, but it hasn’t. I can’t tell my family how much I hate it because they are so proud of me and I really don’t want to disappoint them, I can’t tell my friends because there is a pervasive sense of elitism and I am afraid they will think I am worthless. My grades are not brilliant and I have only been passing by accident and I am afraid that my life will be ruined because my degree grade will not be high enough – people will know I am a fake and a phoney.

All this would be bearable if I knew what the hell I wanted to do with my life after – but I have not the faintest idea. I am currently making efforts into arranging some sort of treatment certain mental health issues (depression that runs in the family) and other family issues, but I feel I can’t admit this to anyone and I can’t let anyone know how badly this shakes me because they will consider me a failure.

How does one figure out what to do with one’s life? Is there a plan or some sort of code that helps you realise your ultimate purpose? Stupid question, but any advice would be worth hearing.

Yours sincerely,

Lost and Confused

Let’s start with this: YES IT IS GOOD THAT YOU ARE ARRANGING THERAPY.  Arrange the fuck out of that therapy and go to it. Going to therapy is not a failure. Say it out loud for me, okay? Going to therapy is not a failure.  You say yourself that you feel you have no one to talk to who won’t judge you, and a therapist (well, decent human ones) will not judge you.  You need someone like that because everyone needs someone like that, not because you’re a failure.  Got it?

Now, your questions, I’m going to answer your second one first:

“Is there a plan or code that helps you realize your ultimate purpose?”

Nope.

Next questio- Oh, fine.

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