Though I do not consider myself a prude, I sometimes have to question the validity of how sensitive I become when exposed to certain materials, which is why I am writing you.
I have a wonderful partner who is sweet and kind and makes me feel all kinds of wonderful when we are together. He is also very smart and loves reading and history. He takes a particular interest in historical television shows like Deadwood, Rome and currently, Game of Thrones.
I love my partner very much and I make a strong attempt to like the things that he likes. But these shows really get to me sometimes. I know that in the past women have been regarded as property but watching these shows with all the prostitution and rape is so distracting I don’t even care about the story. I see chicks in the backgrounds of scenes with the exposed bodies and it’s just there as part of the set decoration.
I don’t THINK I’m a prude. I don’t mind sex or nudity, but this isn’t even sex. It just feels like someone is trying to make me feel shocked and/or to hate men. And it bothers me that my partner doesn’t get why I’m bothered by it. We had a small fight about it the other day after viewing the first episode of GoT and he started explaining how he “understood there were elements of sex” in there which REALLY made me mad because rape is not sex. And it feels like he is so desensitized that it does not faze him a bit to see such things.
The style of these shows are not going to go away and he’s not going to stop watching them, or at least wanting to. He asked if I’d prefer he didn’t watch but I don’t like asking people I’m dating (or not dating) to stop doing things they enjoy. I really don’t mind nudity, I watch bad sexploitation films all the time. But those stories are silly and the characters consenting.
I’m sure that GoT is only going to get awesome (I enjoy fantasy stories) but I just can’t see past certain things anymore. Am I being too sensitive?
Sick of Thrones
Dear Sick of Thrones,
I watch a lot of HBO dramas, and along with the amazing storytelling comes boobs. Lots of boobs, to the point that when we see some naked lady gyrating in the back of a scene my friends all roll our eyes and say “We’re on HBO, you guys!” and “Look, it’s HBO!” (you can’t hear the sarcasm, but trust me) to the point where I think that HBO must have someone on staff, say, a Vice President of Tits, who sits in on pitch and story development meetings figuring out how new shows will work tits in. Can any readers with inside knowledge confirm this story (and get me a directing job?)
While I’ve read the books, I haven’t watched a single second of Game of Thrones (yet), so I’m turning this one over to the great Commander Logic. But before I do, let me leave you with 1) It’s totally okay to just not watch things that you you don’t like 2) there’s a lot of shitty sexist media out there boy howdy and I can’t watch shows that start off with images of nameless dead, raped, and dismembered ladies and then watch detectives find out, in detail, how they got that way 3) your boyfriend isn’t watching those things AT you, and the more you disengage from it where he is concerned the happier you will probably be.
Here’s Commander Logic.