Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
The letter contains brief mention of the roommate either accidentally or accidentally-on-purpose leaving a pet outside for a while during a mental health episode. The pet was fine and this is neither the point of the letter nor the oddest thing in it, but readers have mentioned animals-in-peril stresses them out, so I'm including both … Continue reading #1239: “I moved out of a weird roommate situation two years(!) ago, but the town is so small that the weirdness is still affecting my social life.”
Patrons of the blog have sent in short questions. Surprising nobody, I have written answers between "medium" and "epic." This is Part 1 of 2, the rest will come later in the week. In this batch: A friend is ghosting me to my face at work, I want to reconnect with a friend I accidentally … Continue reading September 2019 Short Questions: Part 1
Hi Captain! As I've tried to make better friends with her, I've realized that my roommate's GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”
People are always full of advice for what a woman should do about a man's rude behavior (like patronizing comments or unfunny mean jokes at her expense that don't land right) and it's almost never saying "Bro? No. No, Bro" and expecting him to change his behavior.
Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
Here is #1168: "Is it unreasonable to want your friend to feign polite interest in your interests?" Hey Captain, I (she/her) have a close friend (he/they) who I've known for going on six years now. We originally met through real life things and bonded over having similar fandom-adjacent interests, although over the last few years … Continue reading #1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS
Hi Captain! Tl:dr – What do you say when someone needs you to tell them that you care about them more than you do care about them? Is there a way to be honest but not make them feel like you actually dislike them? Is there a way to lie so that they actually believe … Continue reading #1103: “My partner’s awkward friend and their requests for reassurance.”
Dear Cap, I am an insecure introvert with a big ol mouth and the occasional attitude problem. I've worked a lot on being more careful with what I say and keeping work relationships more professional than personal. Then I switched to teaching. Teaching, as I have found, builds a kind of in-the-trenches bond with your … Continue reading #971: Fear of missing out on the work social scene: Everybody is hanging out without me.
Hi Captain Awkward, I find myself in a very awkward but relatively low-stakes situation with a classmate. There is a woman in my cohort at college who has this weird habit of rescheduling other students' social events (not just mine, but mostly mine). For example, someone invites the group by email out to go hiking, … Continue reading #897: “Every time I invite our friends to something, this person suggests a competing event.”