Do you want friends, as in autonomous human beings, or do you want an app that provides daily affirmations and asks no questions?
#1355: “How to stop helping a former coworker.”
The only thing more awkward than talking about money is Not Talking About Money.
#1353: My friend always takes over a day to respond to messages.
If someone averages 36 hours between responses, what happens if you assume that their response time will be 36 hours?
#1338: “*surprised Pikachu face* Another friendship that stresses me out!”
Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
#1239: “I moved out of a weird roommate situation two years(!) ago, but the town is so small that the weirdness is still affecting my social life.”
The letter contains brief mention of the roommate either accidentally or accidentally-on-purpose leaving a pet outside for a while during a mental health episode. The pet was fine and this is neither the point of the letter nor the oddest thing in it, but readers have mentioned animals-in-peril stresses them out, so I'm including both … Continue reading #1239: “I moved out of a weird roommate situation two years(!) ago, but the town is so small that the weirdness is still affecting my social life.”
September 2019 Short Questions: Part 1
Patrons of the blog have sent in short questions. Surprising nobody, I have written answers between "medium" and "epic." This is Part 1 of 2, the rest will come later in the week. In this batch: A friend is ghosting me to my face at work, I want to reconnect with a friend I accidentally … Continue reading September 2019 Short Questions: Part 1
#1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”
Hi Captain! As I've tried to make better friends with her, I've realized that my roommate's GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”
#1219: “My good friend’s boyfriend keeps ‘negging’ me.”
People are always full of advice for what a woman should do about a man's rude behavior (like patronizing comments or unfunny mean jokes at her expense that don't land right) and it's almost never saying "Bro? No. No, Bro" and expecting him to change his behavior.
#1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
#1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS
Here is #1168: "Is it unreasonable to want your friend to feign polite interest in your interests?" Hey Captain, I (she/her) have a close friend (he/they) who I've known for going on six years now. We originally met through real life things and bonded over having similar fandom-adjacent interests, although over the last few years … Continue reading #1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS