#1239: “I moved out of a weird roommate situation two years(!) ago, but the town is so small that the weirdness is still affecting my social life.”

The letter contains brief mention of the roommate either accidentally or accidentally-on-purpose leaving a pet outside for a while during a mental health episode. The pet was fine and this is neither the point of the letter nor the oddest thing in it, but readers have mentioned animals-in-peril stresses them out, so I'm including both … Continue reading #1239: “I moved out of a weird roommate situation two years(!) ago, but the town is so small that the weirdness is still affecting my social life.”

#1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”

Hi Captain! As I've tried to make better friends with her, I've realized that my roommate's GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”

#1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)

Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)

#1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS

Here is #1168: "Is it unreasonable to want your friend to feign polite interest in your interests?" Hey Captain, I (she/her) have a close friend (he/they) who I've known for going on six years now. We originally met through real life things and bonded over having similar fandom-adjacent interests, although over the last few years … Continue reading #1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS

#971: Fear of missing out on the work social scene: Everybody is hanging out without me.

Dear Cap, I am an insecure introvert with a big ol mouth and the occasional attitude problem. I've worked a lot on being more careful with what I say and keeping work relationships more professional than personal. Then I switched to teaching. Teaching, as I have found, builds a kind of in-the-trenches bond with your … Continue reading #971: Fear of missing out on the work social scene: Everybody is hanging out without me.

#897: “Every time I invite our friends to something, this person suggests a competing event.”

Hi Captain Awkward, I find myself in a very awkward but relatively low-stakes situation with a classmate. There is a woman in my cohort at college who has this weird habit of rescheduling other students' social events (not just mine, but mostly mine). For example, someone invites the group by email out to go hiking, … Continue reading #897: “Every time I invite our friends to something, this person suggests a competing event.”

#791: Feeling slighted and unmoored in a friendship and looking for ways to connect.

Hi Captain Awkward, You are a great resource, and I've referred a lot of friends to your blog. My problem is something I think I should totally not be having, but I am. I have a friend who I've known for years who will be getting married soon. Suzanne and I used to live together, … Continue reading #791: Feeling slighted and unmoored in a friendship and looking for ways to connect.