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Dear Captain Awkward:

So I am a recentish transplant to San Francisco at 28.

I have many acquaintances here from various parts of my life, as SF is one of those cities people just end up in. These people are not connected to each other in any way.

As I attempt to build a friendship circle out here I have to deal with lots of people being flaky – not responding to emails, or breaking plans etc. I know from my own life I engage in this behavior under a few circumstances: 1) when I’m just not prioritizing the other person for one reason or another or 2) I’m depressed and avoiding social commitments like it’s my job.

I know for a fact a few of these potential-friends are sort of lonely and isolated, and some have very vibrant social lives. For the people I know are lonely / isolated I pretty much keep on going back to them with invites of one kind or another. For people with actual lives I’ll leave it at two or so before moving along.

What’s your take on how best to handle flaky people you are attempting to friend?

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