“I made you this compilation of my thoughts and feelings. The agenda for our conversation is on Page 3. Please call my office to schedule our relationship discussion.”
Dear Captain Awkward:
My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been together for about half a year. He treats me well, takes an interest in what I do and enjoy and is generally a good boyfriend. We have a lot of similar characteristics and the same silly sense of humor. When we first got together it was supposed to be a casual thing, but it ended up escalating into something more serious almost immediately. Right now we are together almost five days of the week and almost never go out alone. We sleep in a tangled pile. We are comfortable with just being in the same room doing our own thing. I have never pressured him into anything and neither has he, everything just happened. It feels SO nice and natural. He seems to enjoy it too.
I am developing some Serious Feelings for him and I can definitely imagine a future with this man, but I am not sure about what he wants from our relationship. I would definitely want to be with someone who wants to have a family and this is not something up for compromise. My problem is that both him and I are absolutely terrible at talking about emotional things. I even have trouble saying „I like you“ out loud, asking „where do you see this relationship going“ is something I feel is beyond me. I’ve tried to find a good moment to force myself to bring up this topic with him, but can’t seem to find one (or I can’t make myself to open my mouth). I’m also afraid that he will not be able to answer my questions for the same reasons (I know I’d have trouble with it). I don’t want to lose him and yet I don’t want to waste my time in a relationship that will not lead anywhere.
So I guess my question is, how do I get over this unnatural fear I have of talking about my feelings/relationship goals? Suppose I get over it, how do I make the conversation comfortable enough for him? Do you think it’s viable if we’re both funny the same way?
I am a 23 years old girl who has never ever had “Romantic Feelings” for someone. I don’t mean it in a “one true love” way, but more like really kinda liking someone and having pantsfeelings and stuff. I haven’t even had a crush on anyone. Really. Not even when I was a teenager. I used to think that it was something that would come eventually, and I’ve gone on dates, and kissed people, and had sex, all with guys who were as awesome as my friends, but I never felt it. It was always like some sort of experiment, or some anticipation that I would maybe come to feel special about the person given time. (Also, no one’s ever fallen for me either).
I think I got close to it with a friend who asked me out, we had a couple of awkward but nice dates, but it lasted less than a week since he turned out to be an asshole (he had a crush on my best friend the whole time, and two days later started ignoring me to hit on her through text while I was with her. Aaaand that was how I learned we were `just friends`). So that pre-crush went down the drain pretty quickly, and I felt mostly disappointed.
Let's keep this logical between us.
Dear Captain Awkward,
Geeks of the feather, flock together. It’s an obvious thing within my wonderful friends circle, but it’s not horrible. All the people I consider to be good friends are socially inept and awkward somehow. Not to a debilitating or super-creepy level, but we’re all definitely the oddballs who will miss a handful of “normal” social cues. However, we’re all “odd” in different ways and aware in others so we all balance each other out.
There has been a more recent addition to our circle, let’s call him N. In my opinion, he’s a genuinely great guy. Though super nerdy, he’s well aware of his own social failings and actively seeks feedback to improve himself. We bonded while planning for a group camping trip; we both went through similar patterns of depression from similar bad habits of social ineptness. We also both learned to “fix” ourselves and function better with a lot of hard work. Basically, we hang out and compare notes on how stupid we once were, how much progress we’ve made, and how much farther we have to go in some departments.
The love and attraction of one person cannot sustain a relationship.
I am at a complete loss as to what to do here, and I would appreciate your advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. I was 20 when I first started dating him; he was 4 years older. He is my first ever boyfriend, and my first everything (except for kissing). Over time, we’ve become really close and really good friends.
Here’s the problem: I don’t think I’m “in love” or sexually attracted to him anymore.
Over the past few months I’ve noticed that I’m less and less interested in him. Kissing him is fine, but anything more than that and I have to really convince myself to do this. I do not look forward to having sex with him.