Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
Hello, Cap and friends! I have a couple of questions about boundary-setting with people who don't believe in boundaries. The Awkward team's advice and scripts on setting boundaries have been so wonderfully helpful in my life, but what (if anything) can you say to people who believe that setting boundaries in a family is controlling? … Continue reading #917: “How to set boundaries with people who think boundaries and hurt are manipulative? AKA Help implementing boundary advice?”
A series of letters from people who are trying to disengage but don't know how. There's some really toxic addiction and abusive behavior described in some of the letters, so, know that going in. Hey Captain Awkward, This is the LW of #776. This time my question isn’t about dealing with Toby’s parents, but Toby … Continue reading #825, #826, #827: The Art of Losing Is Actually Pretty Hard To Master
Captain and Crew, I've been married to a wonderful man for almost 5 years now. He and I have worked hard to have a marriage based on openness and honesty. We decided fairly early on we weren't in a hurry to have kids, if ever. We wanted to have time to be just us. Then … Continue reading #671: Planning a family and already anticipating difficulties with Grandma.
I'm in grad school for creative writing. It's hard. Right now, I'm taking three classes, which means that I'm reading 500-plus pages a week, in addition to commenting on my classmates' writing and producing a poem every week. Plus, I'm teaching a basic composition course for struggling writers, and a literature course (for the first … Continue reading #459: Do I have to destroy my health to be in grad school?
Dear Captain Awkward, Ever since I can remember my worth in my family has only gone up when my weight goes down. My mom was always telling me I was too fat and that I needed to pull my pants up over my stomach or that I needed to buy larger … Continue reading #345: My mom won’t shut up about my weight
More on the theme of parents & communication with adult children today. Dear Captain Awkward, I've been reading your blog for just a few days now but I already caught on to the important part 'speak up for yourself'. Now my problem is that I can't. Or rather I can't make myself. I've grown up … Continue reading #340: How do you say “I don’t love you?”
Dear Captain Awkward, I have a best friend. We've known each other for a long time, gone through some really rough times together as we both coped with mental illness, toxic families, financial hardship and general shenanigans. Being single ladies who are at the asexual end of the scale, we share a house, and have … Continue reading #335: How do I set a boundary with my friend without hurting her feelings?
Hello Captain! I am in serious need of some guidance. I'll do my best to keep the background info to being pertinent to the situation. Here it goes. I have a wonderful four year old son with my terrible, emotionally-abusive ex. I left him when my son was a little over a year old and … Continue reading #273: “My kid won’t be visiting you”: Steps on becoming an Emotional Badass
Hi, Captain Awkward: I used to have a really hard time using my words, but therapy is awesome and now I will totally tell people, in words, when what they are doing really needs to stop. I'm stuck, though, on how to respond to people who repeatedly ignore my words when I use them. Example, … Continue reading #270: I’m using my words, but the other people aren’t listening. What now?