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Miracle Max from The Princess Bride

Maybe you’re only Mostly Gay.

Dear Readers, I promise a work or friendship or health or family question tomorrow, I swear, but this came in over the weekend and I think we can answer it pretty quickly and keep this week’s theme going.

Ahoy, Captain!

I’m another wayward really insecure dude with a lady problem. But I think it might be a moderately different kind of lady problem than you usually deal with. I hope! (Ed. note: SRSLY)

My parents always taught me at home that expressing any kind of attraction to a woman was wrong, because women are too pure for that- but they were so busy losing their shit over the idea of hetero sex, they didn’t even imagine other kinds. I was proudly out as gay since the end of high school. I had several boyfriends in college, some of which I was reallyy serious about. I know I like men. A lot.

I think it is obvious where I am going with this- I then fell HARD for a female friend, in the last semester of college, and it was requited. I can’t even describe how much I like this girl, Captain … I kind of want to pull a Tom Cruise and shout on national television about how much I love her. I totally get that I sound like an idiot. But she’s amazing and I am hella proud just to be her friend, let alone date her.

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