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Darth Vader holding out a Shiner Bock, source: Hungry In Houston

Do not date this man, even if he offers you your favorite beer. Source: Hungry in Houston.

Hi Captain,

I’m in a sucky situation. I’m in love with one of my friends and he doesn’t treat me very well – even as a friend.
 
I started seeing him very shortly after the end of a very long, serious relationship. I said “this has to be casual, don’t ask me what we are or where this is going, OK?” and he didn’t. Some time went by, we were seeing each other a lot, sleeping together, hanging out at his house – it was great. And then I found my feelings for him were actually pretty strong.
smeagol with a party hat holding a rabbit

PARTY SMEAGOL SAYS "HAPPY BLOGAVERSARY!"

I started this blog in the middle of an email thread with my lady friends about deciding where to eat brunch. (Answer: Wave) I had flirted with blogging before, starting a semi-professional blog (completely made obsolete by the awesome Short of the Week) and a food blog (Pretty recipes! Sometimes read by 20 people a day!)

I had recently had a few Difficult Conversations that had gone better than expected and reminded me that “Hey, speaking up with words works sometimes!” I had learned how to set and communicate boundaries the very hard way, and I had sort of learned how to have feelings (vs. Thoughts about what my feelings might or should be) and maybe my Years of Therapy could pay off for others? Also, I wanted to write something that was weird, blunt, and vulnerable and where I could use swears if I wanted  write how I talk in real life without a filter or worrying about what people think. I’m an avid reader of advice columns for story material, so why not see if I could muck about in people’s stories?

I had no idea that it would become a Thing, with*:

African Violets

Darth Vader Boyfriends

Party Smeagol

The Art of No (an ongoing series and recurring theme)

The Golden Retriever/Kwisatz Haderach of Love

Jedi Hugs

FEELINGSBOMBS

Ill-Fitting Pants

Firthing

Marie Claire’s Rich!

The Jerkbrain

…and this awesome community of commenters and guest posters who make me laugh and push me to keep writing and to do better.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sending your stories. Over the last year this place was a constant source of creative joy, support, and humor for me. You guys were an anchor during a shit**year.

I Jedi hug you all.

 

*That list should catch new readers up on most of the in-jokes, yes?

**Literally – on December 30 a pigeon pooped into my open hand as if to say “A parting gift from 2011, sucker!” I cannot make these things up.