Hello there!

Between this blog and the freelance hustle, I’m the sole breadwinner for my household, and I greatly appreciate your help in keeping the lights on, the trolls out, and making it so I don’t have to cover everything in ads.  If you like what you read here and find it helpful, please consider making a (non-tax deductible) gift via Patreon through PayPal (you can also click the picture of the ramen, below), Ko-Fi, or

I do periodic PBS-style Pledge Drives where I ask readers to donate to the blog, but there is no need to wait: Donations are welcome at any time.

Click on the ramen for a Paypal Link!
Click the ramen and no one has to eat the ramen.

Thank you for reading and supporting!

66 thoughts on “Support/Donate

  1. Hi, thanks for the comment on my blog. What a coincidence, I was actually reading your blog the other day! Question #163 regarding the slut-shaming sister…”whatever asshole”…good (and hilarious) advice!!

  2. Well, I donated using a random state abbreviation since it doesn’t seem to be set up for Canadian addresses. I hope it works!

  3. Thank you, for a wonderful blog. Funny, helpful… and one can feel the love and support from the community.
    Still lurking, btw… my first comment.
    Thanks for being awesome, Captain Awkward!

  4. Hello Captain,
    Long time reader and occasional commenter here.
    I wasn’t sure where to write this to you, but I wanted to thank you.
    Five minutes ago, after about an hours worth of drafting and redrafting it, I sent an email to my universities student welfare office, to request an appointment to discuss with someone trained and experienced some treatment for the depression I have lived with undiagnosed for the last five years.
    Your gentle and logical advice to so many letter writers about caring for their own mental health and being brave enough to look after themselves has finally sunk in, and I’ve taken the first tiny, scary step into looking after myself.

    Thank you for writing this blog. It might have taken me a lot longer to get to this point without it.

  5. Hi there – same intentions as Elodierose! I was looking around for a place to say thank you, and figured I wouldn’t load up your already full mailbox. I’m a longtime reader of this blog – don’t know how I found it, perhaps through the feminist blogsophere (wonder where, hmm). Not only have I found the posts immensely helpful and cheery, it was this blog that led me to wonderful things like Dear Sugar – so thank you for that!

    I also moved to a big new city recently after spending 24 years of my life in one city (cough, okay, one neighbourhood) and many of the resources here about moving to a new city, “finding” one’s place, and meeting new people, are supremely useful and comforting for a mild-anxiety sufferer like me.

    Most specifically, I was lying in bed awake at 4am one day, ill and a little scared, and about to call a hotline but too shy, so I read through the guest post on what to expect when you call a hotline. That was really, really helpful, especially to be reminded that people *want* us to call. I went ahead and called, and was lucky to have a calming, cheering conversation with a very nice volunteer.

    I love you and this blog, Captain Awkward!

  6. Hi Captain!
    Have you ever considered accepting commissions instead of or along with donations? I was just reading Mark Watches (, who allows his readers to commission work from him. I think it’s sort of a cool way to both engage with your audience (not that you need any help there!) and keep the lights on. You could allow us to sponsor X reader questions for $Y, and just have a little note at the top of each post “This questions was sponsored by Jane D.” Just an idea! I know I am the type of person who doesn’t really notice when I see a general call for donations, but if given the opportunity to “buy” something, I might think twice.

  7. Hello.

    I’m a long-time reader, one-time commenter and classic introvert: I won’t say anything unless I’m convinced that it’s a new and genuinely useful contribution to the conversation. But, in this particular context, a little bit of repetition feels like a good thing.

    So…thank you hugely, Captain, for essentially providing a handy primer on life. I’ve worked my way through much of the archive, reading, re-reading, and reading again. I’ve quoted posts to my therapist. I’ve sent links to my friends. And I’ve channelled Spirit of Captain during boundary-enforcement situations.

    In short, you’ve become an important part of Team Me. Thank you for helping me to be myself.

    1. You have made my tiny shriveled heart grow THREE SIZES today! Many thanks for the kind words, and keep awesomeing.

  8. Another thank you here. In 2011 I used to stay late at my dead-end job just to read CA archives and get my head right. I have grown so much by the wisdom you and other people share here. I so appreciate how much energy and care you put into this site, and even if you stopped tomorrow you would have made such a difference to so many people (and probably still would, because the internet is forever.) Thank you thank you thank you.

  9. Your work on this site has helped me so much in the past few years in all aspects of my life and continues to keep giving me a much-needed reminder that it’s okay to stand up for myself. Thank you so much for the time you put into this. (Also I send friends to the site whenever I can, because you and your crew are SO good and helpful and kind in your advice.)

  10. Hi Cap’n! I’m a long time lurker, first time commentator and I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your wonderful, relevant advice. It’s really helped me in quite a few aspects of my life and has definitely made dealing with my family easier.

    1. I meant to put this in my original reply and it somehow slipped my mind but I think you’re awesome and such a wonderful person for taking the time to keep this blog up and running.

  11. Hi captain, I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of the site Patreon? It allows people who produce regular/ongoing content (such as your advice columns) to get donations (once a month, if I’m not mistaken) by those who become their patrons. I’ve seen a few YouTubers and comic artists participate in it and it seems to be a really cool thing. I don’t produce any kind of content at all ever so I sadly can’t tell what it’s like from an inside perspective and I have no idea if you’re even interested in something like this, but I had to think of it when you spoke about your broken computer yesterday and thought maybe that would be something you’d like to consider.

  12. I am broke right now and saving up to move out of my parents’ home, which has some Evil Bees, but this site has helped me so, so much. I will be donating in future. Thank you for everything you do here. ❤

  13. I imagine you’ve already considered this to a degree, but have you thought about offering coaching or consulting services? Maybe via Skype/phone/email? Since I know this kind of work and the letters you read can be emotionally taxing, if you were interested in this, you could specify what type of problems you may want to offer assistance or guidance with. Possibly offer packages with a set number of hours. It may not even have to be entirely related to “OMG MY LIFE” advice exactly, like “building morale” sessions for businesses, helping kids with college applications, etc.

    I imagine I’m not the only one who has receive far more useful information from this blog than I’ve received from people with several letters and qualifications after their names. It wouldn’t surprise me if people were willing to pay for one-on-one time with the Captain 😉

    Re: email as an option — A writer I follow has an email consultation program that she’s recently started, and she’s really enjoying so far. She has set business hours when she replies to emails, so her clients know when she will reply and she doesn’t feel forced to be constantly available (a mistake she learned from experience).

  14. I have learned a lot from reading all the posts and comments – I’m glad to finally be able to chip in a bit!

  15. Dear Captain, your advice column has helped me so much since I discovered it a couple of years ago but, more importantly, you have helped my daughter immensely. You weren’t around when I was a teenager but you’re here now for her and you have my undying gratitude.
    Now to the tofu of the matter, PayPal hates me and won’t take my credit card. It’s not the first time I’ve had this problem but before there have been alternatives so I’ve been able to circumvent their intransigence. However, I don’t live in the US so I cannot take advantage of the non PayPal route this time.
    I would very much like to donate to your site because you have been such a boon to us and you deserve it. Is there some other way I can do so?

    1. Thank you for the kind words! Please don’t worry about $, just keep reading, and maybe donate that money to a mental health cause where you are.

      1. I can do both! (and will.) My lovely daughter is going to donate via PayPal and I will reimburse her (for some of it – she wants to donate too).

  16. donated–feels good to be in a place where i can give back!

    your perspectives on self-care and boundaries have been immensely helpful in my life. thank you so much for the time, care & effort you put into this site.

  17. I have never commented on your blog, but I have read it for a few years now and have found it enormously helpful in so many ways. Without having ever spoken to you, you have helped me learn how to ask the right questions, create proper boundaries, and given me the tools to examine my own actions critically, but with kindness. Thank you so much for the work that you do. I hope my donation helps you in some small way.

  18. Can’t afford a lot but sent a couple bucks your way, and have also turned on ads (would have done it sooner but adblock tends to make me forget there *are* such things as ads!) Love your blog, love your attitude and the enthusiastic way you give people GREAT advice, and the confidence they need to help themselves! 🙂

  19. Do you ever/would you be willing to consult? Instead of asking you a question and expecting you to answer it for free, could one just pay you for your time?

  20. Hello, dear Captain, would you consider “opening” an Awkward store? How about an Amazon store?*

    Those of us who have more love and artistic talent than money could pay some karma forward and contribute graphics and artworks. You and the Awkward Army can pick from greeting cards, keychains, scarves, mugs, clothes, lampshades (what) to let their Missing Stair/Evil Bees memes fly. Only set up a page/account, and you dont have to manage stock, ordering or returns.

    I am a fan of The Bloggess, who has a store and named it, “Five Pounds of Uncut Cocaine” which apparently shows on the buyer’s credit card. Anyway, she is having a real giggle with this thing.
    I’d seen Zazzle advertised and assumed it was low-quality digital printing, but heck Disney and Marvel use them now too.
    Zazzle is strict on copyright so likely no version of “Darth Boyfriend” would get past them…

    Another idea I’ve had for you is to start an Amazon Bookshelf store. Army peeps following the link from the Awkward page would net you a commission. We could have our hymnal, “Why Does He Do That?” along with “The Gift of Fear” (there’s one for teens!) among others. Pretty sure both of these ship internationally, too.

    The longer your reach becomes, Cap’n, the more recovery people around me have the potential to access; hence, the better my life gets. Ultimately, this request is me being selfish. xo.

    *I don’t work for either of these, and assume you’d do your own research.

  21. I’ve now met my insurance deductible for the year, and now that I am paying much less out-of-pocket for sessions with my therapist, I’m passing some of the $ along to Captain Awkward, since this site has done so much good for my mental health. I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated the strategies, the scripts, and the succinct ways of describing particular patterns of behavior. The blog has helped me through some rough mental health years, and gave me the tools to set the boundaries I used to be too afraid to build. Thank you for everything, Captain.

  22. Dear Captain Awkward,

    After years of reading this blog and finding immense comfort, entertainment, guidance, and lolz in it, I am happy to finally become a (financial) supporter of the awesome work you do.

    I can do this because as a result of finally going to therapy and setting some healthy boundaries with my overbearing, judgy parents, I went ahead and got the degree they thought was a “scam,” moved to a foreign country where I could afford a room of my own with a door that closed, applied for a bunch of jobs back in California, got a full-time job, moved to my dream city, met a fantastic guy, and am hoping to very soon adopt my own kitty (RIP Beadie).

    You have, without a doubt, changed my life immensely for the better with this site.

    Also, if you ever write a book, I would buy the fuck out of it. Might even make it course textbook. 🙂

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