Don't need to be cool to be kind.
Hi, Captain, To cut to the chase, I (she/her) have an autoimmune disease for which I take several immunosuppressant medications — none of which are working particularly well. My parents are both over the age of 60. You can probably tell where this is going. My sister (she/her) is getting married at the end of … Continue reading #1274 and #1275: COVID-19 and Family Visits and Weddings
Dear Cap, I’ve (she/her) got White Family Facebook Drama over police racism, regarding my (male) officer cousins, D and A. I began publicly supporting the Black Lives Matter movement in 2016, and they became distant but civil. (It was hard because D and I had been friendly on social media before that, but I didn’t … Continue reading #1272: “White Family Facebook Drama Over Police Racism”
Hello! It’s Monday! I wrote a piece for Vice about how to ride out quarantine when it means moving back in with the same people you wrote to me for advice about “surviving” holiday visits with. It’s a good match for Miss Conduct’s column this week: “My daughter’s ‘useless’ boyfriend is sheltering in place with … Continue reading Quarantine with difficult family & other “How To Stay In” links. #COVID-19
Hi Captain, My mother and I have always wanted different frequencies of interaction. After I moved out for university, at a holiday party my mother announced the only gift she ever wanted from me was daily phone calls – even her friends were incredulous. She tends to call any hour of the day, hitting redial … Continue reading #1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
Hello lovely readers! Whenever I write about family estrangement, setting boundaries with family members, difficult parents, etc. a) I’m usually answering a bunch of letters in one, if that makes sense, like, there are many of this kind of question so I am picking one to tackle at length and b) immediately afterward I get … Continue reading Family Estrangement and Personal Bandwidth: A Request
Ahoy Captain, This past year I (31/F) finally received a diagnosis for what I’ve been struggling with for over half my life. I have Complex PTSD/PTSD (I’ll spare you the differences and overlaps) (Ed. Note: No worries! I, Jennifer, will link people to a basic explainer.) Encouraged by my therapist I shared the PTSD with my … Continue reading #1243: “Broaching a service dog with dismissive family.”
The letter contains brief mention of the roommate either accidentally or accidentally-on-purpose leaving a pet outside for a while during a mental health episode. The pet was fine and this is neither the point of the letter nor the oddest thing in it, but readers have mentioned animals-in-peril stresses them out, so I’m including both … Continue reading #1239: “I moved out of a weird roommate situation two years(!) ago, but the town is so small that the weirdness is still affecting my social life.”
Whenever I write about difficult parent stuff (like yesterday) my inbox immediately gets filled with more difficult parent and family estrangement stuff, which makes sense because, people find out they aren’t alone and I have quite a lot to say about difficult parent stuff. It takes…a lot…to write about my family and I know I … Continue reading “We Are Spartacus!”: Open Thread & Resources On Family Estrangement And Adult Relationships With Difficult Parents
How many times would you keep trying to hug someone who told you they didn’t like it? Zero is the correct answer, so why won’t this dude back off?
Hi Captain! As I’ve tried to make better friends with her, I’ve realized that my roommate’s GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”
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