#1236: “My ex keeps gnawing at the edges of my work and social life.”

Behind a cut for mention of consent violations. Hi Captain, I (she/her) divorced my ex (he/him) a year ago. There were a lot of reasons, but one reason was constant sexual pressure to perform and do things I don't enjoy. This pressure usually took the form of guilt trips, but once escalated to a situation … Continue reading #1236: “My ex keeps gnawing at the edges of my work and social life.”

#1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”

Behind a cut for emotional abuse, misogyny, and discussion of these things as specifically related to recent gun violence and the possibility thereof, which is not what the Letter Writer asked, but definitely something I saw in the question. I did a giant dump of cat photos for patrons if you need to click on … Continue reading #1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”

#1214: “Kid’s place volunteer won’t leave my twin babies alone.”

Hi Cap! So, there's this community space I enjoy using with my toddler and babies, and there's this older lady volunteer there who will. not. leave. the. babies. alone. (With the framing of "she's just trying to help.") She hovers over the babies, she micromanages where we're sitting or where we put our stroller, and … Continue reading #1214: “Kid’s place volunteer won’t leave my twin babies alone.”

#1208: “Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering:” BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.

As promised...more "If you're 'not allowed' to say no to someone, they are not acting like friends" content. I have kept the Letter Writer's subject line as the post title so that readers too can have the "Wait, where is the part where this person is an actual mom" "Oh wait, phew, this person isn't … Continue reading #1208: “Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering:” BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.

#1191: Guest Post:”My Mom’s Boyfriend is a Sex Offender!”

If it's not obvious why from the subject line, we're putting this post behind a cut so people can choose whether to engage further. FYI there are mentions of past assaults and predatory behavior in addition to describing sex offender registries and designations. Upsetting stuff, though the LW is doing a good job with an impossible … Continue reading #1191: Guest Post:”My Mom’s Boyfriend is a Sex Offender!”

#1149: “We decided to leave our abusive ex and move to another state, only she came with us and is living on our couch?”

This letter contains emotional abuse of people, potential physical harm of animals (now stopped/interrupted/not ongoing/the animals are ok for now!, but still I know some people can't safely read about that), and enough WHAT THE FUCK that you'll need a comfy chair and a cold washcloth, at minimum. If you want the teachable moment without … Continue reading #1149: “We decided to leave our abusive ex and move to another state, only she came with us and is living on our couch?”

For my fellow sexual assault survivors in the USA who feel like they are hanging by a thread and need to figure out what to do with these feelings

My friend Dana Norris answers the question about what we do with all these feelings over at Role/Reboot that I've been too @@#$$%^&&*^#!@!!!!!! to articulate. ❤ & solidarity   Note: I do not vouch for comments or comment moderation on any site that I link from here. Don't assume I've even clicked on them, and enter … Continue reading For my fellow sexual assault survivors in the USA who feel like they are hanging by a thread and need to figure out what to do with these feelings

It Came From The Search Terms: Flaming September

Hello friends! It's that time, where we answer the things people typed into search engines as if they were questions. It's a good way to check in with people's preoccupations on a large, anonymous scale and it's usually pretty fun. First, as is traditional, a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZCiMp7F65o (Lyrics at the YouTube link) Also I know … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Flaming September

#1141: “Help with De-Escalating Arguments when Dr. Jekyll Turns into Mr. ‘Abandonment/Control Issues’ Hyde”

Behind a cut for controlling and emotionally abusive behavior. Dear Cap, My husband (he/him) and I (she/her) have been together for five years. I'd say 95% of the time things are great. We're really in tune, we share values and interests and have the same long term goals. The problem is the other 5% (maybe … Continue reading #1141: “Help with De-Escalating Arguments when Dr. Jekyll Turns into Mr. ‘Abandonment/Control Issues’ Hyde”

#1122: “I ghosted a guy three years ago. Now he’s back! What do I owe him?”

Dear Captain, A bit over 3 years ago, I (she/her) went out with a guy (he/him) I met through an online dating site. We had some drinks, slept together, and then I basically ghosted him - ignored a couple of texts, then moved out of the country, changed my number, and never thought about him … Continue reading #1122: “I ghosted a guy three years ago. Now he’s back! What do I owe him?”