People are always full of advice for what a woman should do about a man's rude behavior (like patronizing comments or unfunny mean jokes at her expense that don't land right) and it's almost never saying "Bro? No. No, Bro" and expecting him to change his behavior.
Dear Captain Awkward; Hello! I am 48 years old, pronouns she/her, and having trouble with my parents, specifically, my mother and her hoarding. My mom is trying to give more stuff to me than I can handle, and the lever she pulls to make it more painful is, "but it was your grandmother's." if I … Continue reading #1216 and #1217: The Weight Of Parental Love and Things And Time And “Help.”
Hi Cap! So, there's this community space I enjoy using with my toddler and babies, and there's this older lady volunteer there who will. not. leave. the. babies. alone. (With the framing of "she's just trying to help.") She hovers over the babies, she micromanages where we're sitting or where we put our stroller, and … Continue reading #1214: “Kid’s place volunteer won’t leave my twin babies alone.”
Content note: Letter mentions the long-ago death of a child. Dear Captain Awkward, Almost 14 years ago, my second child was born and died the next day. We received a very serious medical diagnosis mid-way through the pregnancy, so his death was not entirely unexpected. When he died, there was already a lot of drama … Continue reading #1210: “My sister offers annual grief support that I don’t want.”
Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
As promised...more "If you're 'not allowed' to say no to someone, they are not acting like friends" content. I have kept the Letter Writer's subject line as the post title so that readers too can have the "Wait, where is the part where this person is an actual mom" "Oh wait, phew, this person isn't … Continue reading #1208: “Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering:” BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.
This is going to be the first of a two-part series on how people who can't hear the word 'no' are not your friends. Hey Captain! I (she/her) just moved out of a group house. I lived with five other people in the house, including a couple (Elsie and Jenna). Elsie (she/her) and I are … Continue reading #1207: “I moved away from a roommate who treated me like her on-call therapist, but she won’t let go. How can I tell her ‘nicely’ that I don’t want to be friends anymore?”
Hi Captain! Low stakes question here regarding the delicate situation of my housemates' generally lovely parents. I live in a house with several people, including a couple with two kids who are also my landlords (the couple, not the kids). I've been here for five years and I love it! The situation is wonderful, the … Continue reading #1201: “I need to set some boundaries for my housemates’ parents when they visit.”
Captain, my Captain! I've looked through the archives, and while you've answered similar-ish questions, this one hasn't come up before, so I'm hoping you can help! I (she/her) work as a freelance editor and am in a fairly privileged position––I have enough clients that I can afford to be somewhat choosy; I'm white and cisgender, … Continue reading #1195: How to give a client feedback when the feedback is “You’re racist.”
Dear Captain Awkward, I've met somebody lovely and we're getting married in the summer. (My pronouns: she/her, my fiancee's: they/them) I'm thrilled to celebrate with all my family and friends...except one person. My uncle has mainlined Fox News for longer than I've been alive and has selected me, his queer, liberal niece, as a prime … Continue reading #1189: “Fox News, Immigrant Family, and the F******* Wedding Invite List”