Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
Category: the art of no
#1356: “I don’t want to be friends with my neighbor anymore.”
Are you overreacting or are you just reacting to evidence of observed behavior and patterns?
#1353: My friend always takes over a day to respond to messages.
If someone averages 36 hours between responses, what happens if you assume that their response time will be 36 hours?
#1346: “My new ‘friend’ has alt-right skeletons in her closet. How do I nope out?”
"Inside this lady are two bigots, one is capable of acting nice sometimes and the other is not, don't feed either of them with your time, sympathy, or attention."
#1338: “*surprised Pikachu face* Another friendship that stresses me out!”
Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
#1333: Multi-Level Marketing Cults & Performative Friendship
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
#1330: “I don’t want this friend as a roommate or a summer houseguest, but my sibling and I sort of already agreed.”
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
#1322: “My friend’s (white female) roommate is a creepy creep.”
"Don't touch me" isn't complicated. You know who makes it complicated? CREEPS, THAT'S WHO.
#1298: “Could my adult friend have been grooming me for years?”
The subject line says it all, for content warning purposes, though if it helps: The Letter Writer sent the person packing and it was not a *successful* grooming attempt.
Update for #1208: “Question about Mom-friends being Too….’Mothering.'”
Once upon a time, a kind reader wrote in for advice about her friend, "Mary." Mary just cared about the Letter Writer SO MUCH, you see, that she felt entitled to advise her on any and all of life's challenges, kiss her on the top of the head, take over in the kitchen, recount a … Continue reading Update for #1208: “Question about Mom-friends being Too….’Mothering.'”