Thank you all for the kind words and end-of-year donations and patronage that have flowed in over the last week or so. I've been traveling and kind of made a point about not touching my laptop for a week or so, but I read everything and I'm very grateful. ❤ Everyone's doing decade-retrospectives and my … Continue reading 2019’s Most-Viewed Posts
Ahoy Captain, This past year I (31/F) finally received a diagnosis for what I've been struggling with for over half my life. I have Complex PTSD/PTSD (I'll spare you the differences and overlaps) (Ed. Note: No worries! I, Jennifer, will link people to a basic explainer.) Encouraged by my therapist I shared the PTSD with my … Continue reading #1243: “Broaching a service dog with dismissive family.”
I wrote a piece for VICE about taking good care of yourself during holiday visits with family. We're at work on the sequel about hosting holiday visits that people won't have to write to internet advice columns about. The therapist I spoke with for the Vice piece, Rae McDaniel, is a delight and had so … Continue reading Captain Awkward at Vice and other links.
It's time for the monthly feature where I answer the things people typed into their search engine before they wound up here as if they are questions. These come in completely anonymously and context-free. A few links before we get started: Dear Mantis on Twitter: Great advice column or GREATEST ADVICE COLUMN? Our beloved Goat … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Cold November Wind
If you end up trying to negotiate with your feelings, especially Future Feelings that Future You isn't even feeling yet, use action there, too, like: "If this was a mistake and someday I feel the thing I'm so afraid to feel, what (if anything) will I do about it?" Feelings are coming one way or another, you aren't the boss of them but they definitely aren't the boss of you, either. Make friends with them, invite them in, see what they have to tell you. You can decide what to do about them.
The letter is behind a cut for people who don't want to read past the subject line rn. ❤ Blanket The Holidays™ Reminder: If you are dreading your usual winter holiday celebration for whatever reason, you can change it/cancel it/stay home from it/DEFINITELY NOT HOST IT. People might be disappointed. So what? I read somewhere … Continue reading #1228: Miscarriage and The Holidays
Hello again! Patrons have sent short questions. I have attempted to answer them. Installment 1 is here. This round: How do I deal with my mom's anxiety about my life, how do I tell a roommate that their helpfulness is not actually helpful, how do I preserve a friendship over distance, how do I build a … Continue reading September 2019 Short Question Grab Bag: Part 2
There was a lovely update in my inbox last week, from LW #1204, who was adjusting to hearing loss and having to drag-adjust everyone else in her life. Shared with permission: "I got my hearing aids a couple weeks ago, and since then my life is inestimably better! I can hear everything so well, I … Continue reading Letter Writer Update and A Graduation
This piece written by Cass Ball is great. And you can safely replace "20s" with "any part of adulthood." Now's the part where I physically restrain myself from quoting the entire thing: "When I’m coming from a place of scarcity, a place where everything feels like it isn’t enough,I often feel that I’m insufficient without … Continue reading A++ Recommend! Scarleteen’s “Embracing Newbiehood: How to Approach Dating and Sex in Your 20s With Little or No Experience”
Hello! Search terms have piled up, let's do the thing where we answer the search strings people typed in that led them here as if they are questions. Context is missing (by design), so expect some comedy answers in between with the sincere stuff. Let's kick things off with a song. Have I used this … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Cruel Summer