Hi Captain, My mother and I have always wanted different frequencies of interaction. After I moved out for university, at a holiday party my mother announced the only gift she ever wanted from me was daily phone calls - even her friends were incredulous. She tends to call any hour of the day, hitting redial … Continue reading #1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
Do not evict roommates or tenants due to coronavirus fears. Find another way. Do not call the police - that includes the 311 non-emergency line - on neighbors who you think are insufficiently socially distancing. I don't care what ordinances your city put in place, if you don't know quite how to have a conversation … Continue reading Five Short Answers to Way More Than Five Long Questions: COVID-19 Edition
Dear Captain, I had a friend I first met about 15 years ago. We got on amazingly well: mutual friends called us “one mind in two bodies” because our personalities were so similar. We understood each other almost perfectly and could talk and laugh for hours about things nobody else quite got. We then had … Continue reading #1257:”How do I navigate the transition between romantic relationship and friendship with someone who’s really (platonically) important to me?”
Hi there, I'm hoping to find some scripts/strategies to employ when I run into someone I'm happy to chat with, like a friend or one of the super friendly baristas at a coffee shop I'm always in, and they ask "so what's new with you?" or "what have you been up to this week?" when … Continue reading #1252: Small Talk Strategies When You’re Depressed And Forgetful
Hello lovely readers! Whenever I write about family estrangement, setting boundaries with family members, difficult parents, etc. a) I'm usually answering a bunch of letters in one, if that makes sense, like, there are many of this kind of question so I am picking one to tackle at length and b) immediately afterward I get … Continue reading Family Estrangement and Personal Bandwidth: A Request
I've gotten a bunch of letters about family weirdness and estrangement and boundaries (weird, almost like there was a series of events in the last month that forced a lot of family togetherness, can't think would have caused all these old wounds to re-open at the same time? 😉 ) and I'm going to put … Continue reading #1247 “I went no-contact with my mother and it’s turned her into a bogeyman”: Anxiety, Anticlimax, and the Aftermath of Estrangement.
Hey Captain Awkward. I read some of your responses to other writers who had concerns about their partners’ finances, and I feel like this is related but not quite the same. I’m stressed about my boyfriend’s money management skills and how I can help him without getting myself into a bad financial situation. I also … Continue reading #1246: “Partner with lots of expenses and little income.”
Thank you all for the kind words and end-of-year donations and patronage that have flowed in over the last week or so. I've been traveling and kind of made a point about not touching my laptop for a week or so, but I read everything and I'm very grateful. ❤ Everyone's doing decade-retrospectives and my … Continue reading 2019’s Most-Viewed Posts
Ahoy Captain, This past year I (31/F) finally received a diagnosis for what I've been struggling with for over half my life. I have Complex PTSD/PTSD (I'll spare you the differences and overlaps) (Ed. Note: No worries! I, Jennifer, will link people to a basic explainer.) Encouraged by my therapist I shared the PTSD with my … Continue reading #1243: “Broaching a service dog with dismissive family.”
I wrote a piece for VICE about taking good care of yourself during holiday visits with family. We're at work on the sequel about hosting holiday visits that people won't have to write to internet advice columns about. The therapist I spoke with for the Vice piece, Rae McDaniel, is a delight and had so … Continue reading Captain Awkward at Vice and other links.