Behind a cut for mention of physical and emotional abuse of adult children by parents as well as some frustrations and victim-blaming attitudes that are common in friends and support networks of people who are embroiled in abusive situations. Abusers ruin everything, pretty much. Dear Captain Awkward, I (31, nb, he/him) have a friend who … Continue reading #1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
Category: self-care
#1276: “Setting boundaries when there’s a significant power difference (and you’re the one with less)”
Hi Captain, I’m wondering if you have a script for setting boundaries where there’s a significant power differential. Briefly, I’ve recently hired a lawyer who specializes in disability rights to represent me in a human rights case against a corporation that discriminated against me based on my mental health disability. The lawyer is very competent, … Continue reading #1276: “Setting boundaries when there’s a significant power difference (and you’re the one with less)”
#1269: My mother keeps eating my chocolate and it’s making me furious.
Behind a cut for discussions of food & compulsive eating. Hello, This is probably a really, really petty problem, but it’s driving me up the wall. I live with my mother and she’s been eating my chocolate. She’s been doing this ever since I was a little kid, and every single time she’s replaced it … Continue reading #1269: My mother keeps eating my chocolate and it’s making me furious.
#1267: “How do I set goals if I don’t want anything?”
Dear Captain Awkward: I'm a grown-ass woman who has been through a few cycles of therapy that have (along with medication) helped my stress, anxiety, and ADHD. I've gotten to a point where I am financially self-sufficient, comfortable in my life and community, and blessed with a strong friends network. I'm not in a relationship … Continue reading #1267: “How do I set goals if I don’t want anything?”
Quarantine with difficult family & other “How To Stay In” links. #COVID-19
Hello! It's Monday! I wrote a piece for Vice about how to ride out quarantine when it means moving back in with the same people you wrote to me for advice about "surviving" holiday visits with. It's a good match for Miss Conduct's column this week: "My daughter's 'useless' boyfriend is sheltering in place with … Continue reading Quarantine with difficult family & other “How To Stay In” links. #COVID-19
#1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
Hi Captain, My mother and I have always wanted different frequencies of interaction. After I moved out for university, at a holiday party my mother announced the only gift she ever wanted from me was daily phone calls - even her friends were incredulous. She tends to call any hour of the day, hitting redial … Continue reading #1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
Five Short Answers to Way More Than Five Long Questions: COVID-19 Edition
Do not evict roommates or tenants due to coronavirus fears. Find another way. Do not call the police - that includes the 311 non-emergency line - on neighbors who you think are insufficiently socially distancing. I don't care what ordinances your city put in place, if you don't know quite how to have a conversation … Continue reading Five Short Answers to Way More Than Five Long Questions: COVID-19 Edition
#1257:”How do I navigate the transition between romantic relationship and friendship with someone who’s really (platonically) important to me?”
Dear Captain, I had a friend I first met about 15 years ago. We got on amazingly well: mutual friends called us “one mind in two bodies” because our personalities were so similar. We understood each other almost perfectly and could talk and laugh for hours about things nobody else quite got. We then had … Continue reading #1257:”How do I navigate the transition between romantic relationship and friendship with someone who’s really (platonically) important to me?”
#1252: Small Talk Strategies When You’re Depressed And Forgetful
Hi there, I'm hoping to find some scripts/strategies to employ when I run into someone I'm happy to chat with, like a friend or one of the super friendly baristas at a coffee shop I'm always in, and they ask "so what's new with you?" or "what have you been up to this week?" when … Continue reading #1252: Small Talk Strategies When You’re Depressed And Forgetful
Family Estrangement and Personal Bandwidth: A Request
Hello lovely readers! Whenever I write about family estrangement, setting boundaries with family members, difficult parents, etc. a) I'm usually answering a bunch of letters in one, if that makes sense, like, there are many of this kind of question so I am picking one to tackle at length and b) immediately afterward I get … Continue reading Family Estrangement and Personal Bandwidth: A Request
