People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
Category: saying no
#1298: “Could my adult friend have been grooming me for years?”
The subject line says it all, for content warning purposes, though if it helps: The Letter Writer sent the person packing and it was not a *successful* grooming attempt.
Update for #1208: “Question about Mom-friends being Too….’Mothering.'”
Once upon a time, a kind reader wrote in for advice about her friend, "Mary." Mary just cared about the Letter Writer SO MUCH, you see, that she felt entitled to advise her on any and all of life's challenges, kiss her on the top of the head, take over in the kitchen, recount a … Continue reading Update for #1208: “Question about Mom-friends being Too….’Mothering.'”
#1288: “Saying ‘No’ To The Dress & My Overbearing Sister”
The world is on fire (in some places, quite literally), but it's a weird sort of comforting to know that wedding planning can still bring out the family bullies and control freaks like nothing else.
#1285: “My sister is in love with someone she knows tried to rape me.”
The subject title is the content warning. No graphic details, but the situation is exactly that bad.
#1283: “I need to resign as my friend’s son’s godmother.”
How do you back out when when someone manipulates you - successfully- into something you don't want to do? Plus, help for when you need to ghost a baby and his manipulative parents.
It Came From The Search Terms: July 2020
Yes! It is time! Time to treat the search strings people typed in right before they washed up on these blog shores as if they are actual questions! Inside: Mask etiquette, reformed Nice Guy™ apologies, overly-neighborly neighbors, favor-sharking defined, and more.
#1282: “I want to support my friend without helping him with all his class assignments.”
Hi Captain, I am trying to figure out how to still be supportive of my friend continuing on to grad school when I recently had to dropout of my own program due to a lot of different reasons (COVID striking my family, online course-work not being a good avenue for me, extra course-work due to … Continue reading #1282: “I want to support my friend without helping him with all his class assignments.”
#1281: “Every conversation with my mom is an interrogation of my life choices.”
How does a gentle reminder about doing your laundry from someone who loves you become an existential struggle? Plus, strategies for changing unhealthy communication patterns that do not rely on *persuading* the other person to change for you. Dear Captain Awkward, What are some good scripts for telling my mother I don't want or need … Continue reading #1281: “Every conversation with my mom is an interrogation of my life choices.”
#1255: “I’ve been conscripted! As an unwilling beta reader of somebody’s very personal fan fiction!”
Dear Captain Awkward: Well, not exactly. First, some background: I (she/her) am a member of a Face Book group for fan-fiction readers and writers. I’m a longtime writer of both original work and fan works, so I like to leave comments when people post questions about plotting, characterization, etc. Trouble is, I commented on one … Continue reading #1255: “I’ve been conscripted! As an unwilling beta reader of somebody’s very personal fan fiction!”
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