Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
Category: saying no
#1366: “Malicious, controlling mother-in-law wants to move in”
Ultimatums are scary for a reason: Sometimes people force you to follow through on them.
#1347: “My friend asked me if we could add ‘benefits,’ I still feel weird about it, am I justified in ending the friendship?”
"Good news, I finally persuaded my fiancée to let me sleep with other people, now we can finally act out all my fantasies about you over Zoom!" Whoa, seems sexy!
#1345: Newborns, vaccines, and visiting relatives.
Wear a seatbelt! Where's your helmet? Will there be parents there? Parenthood requires willingness to say no to lots of fun stuff in the name of safety, there's no time like the present to get started.
#1339: Tired of “Moocher” Son-In-Law
Your house, your rules, so spell them out from now on and give your son-in-law a chance to surprise you.
#1337: About more than a mug: Boundaries, housemates, aggression
Introducing The Mug of Perpetually Being Mad At You
#1335: Advice about anxiety about over-committing to in-person hangouts written by a person with ADHD who struggles with time.
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
#1333: Multi-Level Marketing Cults & Performative Friendship
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
#1330: “I don’t want this friend as a roommate or a summer houseguest, but my sibling and I sort of already agreed.”
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
#1298: “Could my adult friend have been grooming me for years?”
The subject line says it all, for content warning purposes, though if it helps: The Letter Writer sent the person packing and it was not a *successful* grooming attempt.
CaptainAwkward.com 