Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
Ultimatums are scary for a reason: Sometimes people force you to follow through on them.
"Good news, I finally persuaded my fiancée to let me sleep with other people, now we can finally act out all my fantasies about you over Zoom!" Whoa, seems sexy!
Wear a seatbelt! Where's your helmet? Will there be parents there? Parenthood requires willingness to say no to lots of fun stuff in the name of safety, there's no time like the present to get started.
Your house, your rules, so spell them out from now on and give your son-in-law a chance to surprise you.
Introducing The Mug of Perpetually Being Mad At You
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
The subject line says it all, for content warning purposes, though if it helps: The Letter Writer sent the person packing and it was not a *successful* grooming attempt.