When someone says "I don't have romantic feelings for you," take them at their word.
"You dumped me, remember? Kindly sigh into someone else's moving boxes."
How to move on when you blew two chances and know that a third isn't coming.
Was your dentist flirting with you?
No. And if he was, gross.
Hi Captain! I hope today is treating you gently. 🙂 Last year, I (twentysomething, they/them) moved across the country to be with my partner. The relationship is good and healthy! The town is friendly, walkable-ish, mild weather, etc. When I visited, I could see myself living here – and more importantly, working at this one … Continue reading #1268: “I tanked a job interview at a place I really want to go back to someday. How do I get over the shame?”
Answer 1: On Crushes So, you have a crush on a friend.* But everything is terrible/uncertain/stressful. Send the love poem. Say the thing that's in your heart. If not now, when? What's the worst that can happen? They don't love you back, i.e. the status quo? What's the best thing that happens? They do! The … Continue reading Two Answers to Many Questions: COVID-19, Crushes, and Closure
Dear Captain, I had a friend I first met about 15 years ago. We got on amazingly well: mutual friends called us “one mind in two bodies” because our personalities were so similar. We understood each other almost perfectly and could talk and laugh for hours about things nobody else quite got. We then had … Continue reading #1257:”How do I navigate the transition between romantic relationship and friendship with someone who’s really (platonically) important to me?”
Y'all I have another Vice piece dropping soon and I have to confess I am HOLIDAYED TF OUT RIGHT NOW. Let's talk endings. Breakups. My wheelhouse. We'll call the first one #1240: "How do I approach a friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore?" Hey Captain Awkward, Here is my dilemma: I am … Continue reading #1240 and #1241: “Closure” Is The Gift You Give Yourself
It's time for the monthly feature where I answer the things people typed into their search engine before they wound up here as if they are questions. These come in completely anonymously and context-free. A few links before we get started: Dear Mantis on Twitter: Great advice column or GREATEST ADVICE COLUMN? Our beloved Goat … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Cold November Wind
It's time for the thing where we pretend the search terms people typed into their computers before they landed on this place are actual questions. Context is missing; that's kind of the point. Let's start with a song, as is traditional. Here's Willie, breaking our hearts a little with his cover of "September Song:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9nSgMwtkK0 … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: September Song