If you end up trying to negotiate with your feelings, especially Future Feelings that Future You isn't even feeling yet, use action there, too, like: "If this was a mistake and someday I feel the thing I'm so afraid to feel, what (if anything) will I do about it?" Feelings are coming one way or another, you aren't the boss of them but they definitely aren't the boss of you, either. Make friends with them, invite them in, see what they have to tell you. You can decide what to do about them.
How many times would you keep trying to hug someone who told you they didn't like it? Zero is the correct answer, so why won't this dude back off?
Hello, monthly feature with short questions from patrons continues from the previous chapter. Q7: I am single in my 40s and have never had a serious long-term partner. I used to think I hadn’t met the right person yet but have recently come to understand that I’m aromantic (and probably demisexual - not ace but … Continue reading Short Questions for August 2019: Part 2 of 2
Behind a cut for emotional abuse, misogyny, and discussion of these things as specifically related to recent gun violence and the possibility thereof, which is not what the Letter Writer asked, but definitely something I saw in the question. I did a giant dump of cat photos for patrons if you need to click on … Continue reading #1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”
Dear Captain Awkward, Yesterday night, seemingly out of nowhere, my husband “Andy” (he/him) got a message from a friend of ours, “Marc” (he/him). In this very long message, Marc wrote that he felt hurt and attacked by Andy during his recent (2-3 days ago) visit to our house. Marc used words like "venomous" and "vitriol" … Continue reading #1221: “My husband’s friend Hulked out on him/us, accused us of bullying him, and isn’t taking our calls. Is it because he has a crush on me, and do I need to do anything about that?”
Dear Captain, My husband (he / him / his) is extremely smart and good in his job, has a close relationship with his sister, and good at figuring out mechanical challenges (e.g., setting up a new type of tent) patiently and thoroughly. But I can’t bear the constant criticism. He’s always miffed about something. It … Continue reading #1218: “Irritability and constant criticism in a marriage.”
Hi Cap! So, there's this community space I enjoy using with my toddler and babies, and there's this older lady volunteer there who will. not. leave. the. babies. alone. (With the framing of "she's just trying to help.") She hovers over the babies, she micromanages where we're sitting or where we put our stroller, and … Continue reading #1214: “Kid’s place volunteer won’t leave my twin babies alone.”
As promised...more "If you're 'not allowed' to say no to someone, they are not acting like friends" content. I have kept the Letter Writer's subject line as the post title so that readers too can have the "Wait, where is the part where this person is an actual mom" "Oh wait, phew, this person isn't … Continue reading #1208: “Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering:” BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.
This is going to be the first of a two-part series on how people who can't hear the word 'no' are not your friends. Hey Captain! I (she/her) just moved out of a group house. I lived with five other people in the house, including a couple (Elsie and Jenna). Elsie (she/her) and I are … Continue reading #1207: “I moved away from a roommate who treated me like her on-call therapist, but she won’t let go. How can I tell her ‘nicely’ that I don’t want to be friends anymore?”
Hello gentle friends, it's time for that thing where we treat the things people typed into their search engines to find this place as if they are questions in their own right. As is traditional, we begin with a tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi5A9OCAyIk Then we begin the no-context guessing games and assumptions! 1 "Adult male using … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: The Last Day In May