Content note/reminder that describing bigotry accurately sometimes includes examples. Followed by the usual reminders that boundaries are more about deciding what you will do than about what you can convince other people to do.
#1312: Did I make the wrong decision? And–why can’t I listen to everyone telling me I made the right decision?
I believe the classic phrase is "don't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm."
#1302: Guest Post: “When your hosts are doing you a favor but their housekeeping habits are making you sad and ill.”
Hello, this week we have a guest post from Rachel Hoffman of Unf*ck Your Habitat blog and book fame about the tricky balance of maintaining your own sanity (and sanitation) in a house where you are a guest.
#1293: “I’m worried my family’s anger about me being a trans man will overshadow my sister’s wedding.”
Licensed therapist Rae McDaniel reminds a reader that discomfort is not harm, and trans people aren't messing up their family events by existing at them.
#1292: “My creep sister is forwarding my queer child’s social media posts to our conservative parents. How to draw a boundary without outing my kid?”
"I'm not a bigot, I'm just really *worried* that you and your child are total deviants who don't deserve rights." -Some Dipshit
#1281: “Every conversation with my mom is an interrogation of my life choices.”
How does a gentle reminder about doing your laundry from someone who loves you become an existential struggle? Plus, strategies for changing unhealthy communication patterns that do not rely on *persuading* the other person to change for you. Dear Captain Awkward, What are some good scripts for telling my mother I don't want or need … Continue reading #1281: “Every conversation with my mom is an interrogation of my life choices.”
#1280: “Am I a terrible daughter for moving out and leaving my mom to care for my grandma?”
Hi Captain, I'm the youngest kid in a South Asian family. I've lived with my parents for four years because I have a career in the arts and have only recently started to earn enough money to pay rent and also, like, eat. I've also stayed with them this long because my frail grandma lives … Continue reading #1280: “Am I a terrible daughter for moving out and leaving my mom to care for my grandma?”
#1278: “My partner is pushing me to start a family before I’m ready.”
Dear Captain My fiancé and I were supposed to get married this April but the wedding was postponed until May 2021 due to the pandemic. We are both in our early 30s. He’s always been keen to start a family, I’m open to having a baby but really want to be married first. This is … Continue reading #1278: “My partner is pushing me to start a family before I’m ready.”
#1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
Behind a cut for mention of physical and emotional abuse of adult children by parents as well as some frustrations and victim-blaming attitudes that are common in friends and support networks of people who are embroiled in abusive situations. Abusers ruin everything, pretty much. Dear Captain Awkward, I (31, nb, he/him) have a friend who … Continue reading #1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
#1274 and #1275: COVID-19 and Family Visits and Weddings
Hi, Captain, To cut to the chase, I (she/her) have an autoimmune disease for which I take several immunosuppressant medications — none of which are working particularly well. My parents are both over the age of 60. You can probably tell where this is going. My sister (she/her) is getting married at the end of … Continue reading #1274 and #1275: COVID-19 and Family Visits and Weddings