"We had the dramatic deathbed reunion everybody pressured me into and then the jerk lived. What now?"
Bold of your mom to set herself up as the sole arbiter of your life circumstances, Letter Writer!
The answer to "how to make someone _____" is almost always, "Sorry, you can't make anybody do anything."
Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
There are a lot of steps between "starting a farm" and "figuring out who gets it after we die." Content Warning for ableism.
Death comes for us all, but we don't have to like it.
"False Spring" in Chicago, is that wedding bells I hear?
Ultimatums are scary for a reason: Sometimes people force you to follow through on them.
Don't let a side quest for understanding get in the way of doing - or demanding - care and kindness.
There's a reason parents of little kids are freaking out right now, howabout we start with not treating their fear like it's a baseless inconvenience?