Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
Ultimatums are scary for a reason: Sometimes people force you to follow through on them.
Don't let a side quest for understanding get in the way of doing - or demanding - care and kindness.
Thriller author Amy Gentry answers this letter about abusive professors who feed like vampires on the potential of their students.
"Good news, I finally persuaded my fiancée to let me sleep with other people, now we can finally act out all my fantasies about you over Zoom!" Whoa, seems sexy!
"Inside this lady are two bigots, one is capable of acting nice sometimes and the other is not, don't feed either of them with your time, sympathy, or attention."
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
"I hated living with them so I moved the hell out. What is there to 'mediate?'"
"Don't touch me" isn't complicated. You know who makes it complicated? CREEPS, THAT'S WHO.