Here is #1168: "Is it unreasonable to want your friend to feign polite interest in your interests?" Hey Captain, I (she/her) have a close friend (he/they) who I've known for going on six years now. We originally met through real life things and bonded over having similar fandom-adjacent interests, although over the last few years … Continue reading #1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS
Category: Geek Social Fallacies
#1163: “I’m screamingly jealous of my sister’s fiancé.”
Dear Captain Awkward, My sister is 37 and I (also female) am 34. We share an apartment and consider ourselves best friends. We’ve both had bad luck with relationships, and I had quietly given up on either of us marrying. But in the past few months she has finally found love and is now engaged. … Continue reading #1163: “I’m screamingly jealous of my sister’s fiancé.”
#1161: “Being the New Kid in my partner’s friend group, four years in, with a jillion weddings and other events on the horizon.”
Dear Captain Awkward, I'm reaching out because, while this is a relatively specific scenario, I'm sure a lot of people feel this way at one time or another. My partner's old friend group never really warmed to me when I first moved here, and I let that be okay because I knew his ex was … Continue reading #1161: “Being the New Kid in my partner’s friend group, four years in, with a jillion weddings and other events on the horizon.”
#1159: “Dude is misrepresenting me as an excuse to harass women. How do I stop it?”
Dear Captain, There’s a guy, let’s call him Ted, who I’ve known for about 15 years and hasn’t been in a relationship during that time but sometimes pursues them, always with much younger women. His feelings are never reciprocated and that’s partly because Ted comes across as…well, a bit creepy and patronising towards women in … Continue reading #1159: “Dude is misrepresenting me as an excuse to harass women. How do I stop it?”
#1136: “How can I dump my husband’s ex?”
Dear Captain Awkward, My husband ("Mike") has been married before, but he and his first wife ("Sarah") divorced many years before I (she/her pronouns) met him. Mike has never given me any reason to be jealous of Sarah, and for the first several years of our marriage I made a point of being friendly with … Continue reading #1136: “How can I dump my husband’s ex?”
#1131: The Aftermath of Harassment Allegations: A Friend’s Responsibility
I don't have a working framework yet for what happens when a creep and a bigot actually faces social or professional consequences for the harm they do. It's so rare that someone harming a woman actually gets kicked out of a social space for that explicit reason that most of us honestly don't know what comes next.
#1120: The Creepy Guy In The Friend Group, Revisited: Four More Geek Social Fallacies
Content note: After the jump I mention Rape Threats Dudes Have Sent Me for saying what I think about creepy dudes. Dear Captain, Over the past several years I've drifted to the periphery of a friend group where one member is a sexist creep. I immediately found him slimy and pushy and off-putting upon meeting … Continue reading #1120: The Creepy Guy In The Friend Group, Revisited: Four More Geek Social Fallacies
#1117: The Day The D&D Devolved
Dear Captain Awkward, It is a year since I totally lost it while visiting with my (long distance) boyfriend’s close high school friends who he lives near and I need help making amends. We were visiting to play DnD, along with another friend of theirs who was also visiting for a one-off game play like … Continue reading #1117: The Day The D&D Devolved
#1113: Weed Allergies, Geek Social Fallacies, and the Gordian Knot
Ahoy Captain, I am a part of a lovely circle of friends that at its core is good and strong and free of toxicity. If you graduate out a bit in the social circles, we have a couple of friends that kind of move in and out of the friend group that are prone to … Continue reading #1113: Weed Allergies, Geek Social Fallacies, and the Gordian Knot
#1103: “My partner’s awkward friend and their requests for reassurance.”
Hi Captain! Tl:dr – What do you say when someone needs you to tell them that you care about them more than you do care about them? Is there a way to be honest but not make them feel like you actually dislike them? Is there a way to lie so that they actually believe … Continue reading #1103: “My partner’s awkward friend and their requests for reassurance.”
