People are always full of advice for what a woman should do about a man's rude behavior (like patronizing comments or unfunny mean jokes at her expense that don't land right) and it's almost never saying "Bro? No. No, Bro" and expecting him to change his behavior.
Category: Geek Social Fallacies
#1211, #1212, #1213: FeelingsCourt Is In Session On Several Accumulated Matters Of The Heart
I have some questions about romantic feelings and dating and breakups accumulating and I don't know if they all belong together, but maybe they don't all need separate threads? I think what they might have in common is people who are trying to rules-lawyer their own hearts. Let's find out! Hello Captain Awkward, I'm not … Continue reading #1211, #1212, #1213: FeelingsCourt Is In Session On Several Accumulated Matters Of The Heart
#1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
Hello, Captain! Could you talk about how to be good at setting boundaries in a non-situation-specific way? You get a lot of letters from people who are having trouble with someone else not respecting their boundaries, and obviously that is not the time to say "are you sure you really communicated what you meant?" But … Continue reading #1209: “Is there a way to get good at setting boundaries that isn’t so situation-specific?” (Boundaries School!)
#1208: “Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering:” BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.
As promised...more "If you're 'not allowed' to say no to someone, they are not acting like friends" content. I have kept the Letter Writer's subject line as the post title so that readers too can have the "Wait, where is the part where this person is an actual mom" "Oh wait, phew, this person isn't … Continue reading #1208: “Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering:” BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.
#1207: “I moved away from a roommate who treated me like her on-call therapist, but she won’t let go. How can I tell her ‘nicely’ that I don’t want to be friends anymore?”
This is going to be the first of a two-part series on how people who can't hear the word 'no' are not your friends. Hey Captain! I (she/her) just moved out of a group house. I lived with five other people in the house, including a couple (Elsie and Jenna). Elsie (she/her) and I are … Continue reading #1207: “I moved away from a roommate who treated me like her on-call therapist, but she won’t let go. How can I tell her ‘nicely’ that I don’t want to be friends anymore?”
It Came From The Search Terms: The Last Day In May
Hello gentle friends, it's time for that thing where we treat the things people typed into their search engines to find this place as if they are questions in their own right. As is traditional, we begin with a tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi5A9OCAyIk Then we begin the no-context guessing games and assumptions! 1 "Adult male using … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: The Last Day In May
#1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS
Here is #1168: "Is it unreasonable to want your friend to feign polite interest in your interests?" Hey Captain, I (she/her) have a close friend (he/they) who I've known for going on six years now. We originally met through real life things and bonded over having similar fandom-adjacent interests, although over the last few years … Continue reading #1168 and #1169: Friendship, Conversation, and TAKING TURNS
#1163: “I’m screamingly jealous of my sister’s fiancé.”
Dear Captain Awkward, My sister is 37 and I (also female) am 34. We share an apartment and consider ourselves best friends. We’ve both had bad luck with relationships, and I had quietly given up on either of us marrying. But in the past few months she has finally found love and is now engaged. … Continue reading #1163: “I’m screamingly jealous of my sister’s fiancé.”
#1161: “Being the New Kid in my partner’s friend group, four years in, with a jillion weddings and other events on the horizon.”
Dear Captain Awkward, I'm reaching out because, while this is a relatively specific scenario, I'm sure a lot of people feel this way at one time or another. My partner's old friend group never really warmed to me when I first moved here, and I let that be okay because I knew his ex was … Continue reading #1161: “Being the New Kid in my partner’s friend group, four years in, with a jillion weddings and other events on the horizon.”
#1159: “Dude is misrepresenting me as an excuse to harass women. How do I stop it?”
Dear Captain, There’s a guy, let’s call him Ted, who I’ve known for about 15 years and hasn’t been in a relationship during that time but sometimes pursues them, always with much younger women. His feelings are never reciprocated and that’s partly because Ted comes across as…well, a bit creepy and patronising towards women in … Continue reading #1159: “Dude is misrepresenting me as an excuse to harass women. How do I stop it?”
