Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
Content note/reminder that describing bigotry accurately sometimes includes examples. Followed by the usual reminders that boundaries are more about deciding what you will do than about what you can convince other people to do.
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
Here is blanket permission to not worry very much about offending people who neither show up to your parties nor ever explain why.
Sometimes when you stop trying to make yourself like someone, it's easier to keep the peace at parties.
"Don't touch me" isn't complicated. You know who makes it complicated? CREEPS, THAT'S WHO.
Just spitballing here, but what if my fellow white people took bigotry in our social spaces incredibly fucking seriously for a change?
Dear Captain, I've looked in the archives for something like this, but I couldn't find anything. What do you do when you apologize and it seems to upset someone even more? I (she/her) have an ex (he/him), and we have recently reconnected after a breakup and period of no contact and are trying to be … Continue reading #1263: “I apologized and it made everything weirder. What’s really going on?”
Dear Captain, I looked through the archives and I couldn't see anything on this particular topic, but apologies if I missed something. It does seem connected to the Geek Social Fallacies though. My question is about how to deal with awkwardness and anxieties over the dreaded Group Chat. I have a group of friends who … Continue reading #1251: “My friends are mad because I don’t like talking in the dreaded Group Chat from WhatsApp Hell.”
Dear Captain Awkward, I ( 27, she/her) have an acquaintance (29, he/him) who is not neurotypical (he told me this). His preferred mode of communication is texting and he frequently tries to have long, involved text conversations with me. I was pretty tolerant of this at first, but it’s gotten a bit wearing. I’ve told … Continue reading #1220: “Is this guy constantly texting me after I told him not to because he ‘doesn’t understand’ boundaries or because he doesn’t care about them?”