Dear Captain Awkward, My 50+ y/o housemate has a problem, and I don't know how to help. Sounds stupid but her pants are always falling down. At any given moment inch(es) of her rear crack are exposed. It started years ago, most often when she would bend over, but it has progressively gotten worse--any time … Continue reading #1262: “My housemate keeps exposing herself to me/the world/everyone.”
Answer 1: On Crushes So, you have a crush on a friend.* But everything is terrible/uncertain/stressful. Send the love poem. Say the thing that's in your heart. If not now, when? What's the worst that can happen? They don't love you back, i.e. the status quo? What's the best thing that happens? They do! The … Continue reading Two Answers to Many Questions: COVID-19, Crushes, and Closure
Dear Captain Awkward: Well, not exactly. First, some background: I (she/her) am a member of a Face Book group for fan-fiction readers and writers. I’m a longtime writer of both original work and fan works, so I like to leave comments when people post questions about plotting, characterization, etc. Trouble is, I commented on one … Continue reading #1255: “I’ve been conscripted! As an unwilling beta reader of somebody’s very personal fan fiction!”
Dear Captain, I looked through the archives and I couldn't see anything on this particular topic, but apologies if I missed something. It does seem connected to the Geek Social Fallacies though. My question is about how to deal with awkwardness and anxieties over the dreaded Group Chat. I have a group of friends who … Continue reading #1251: “My friends are mad because I don’t like talking in the dreaded Group Chat from WhatsApp Hell.”
Thank you all for the kind words and end-of-year donations and patronage that have flowed in over the last week or so. I've been traveling and kind of made a point about not touching my laptop for a week or so, but I read everything and I'm very grateful. ❤ Everyone's doing decade-retrospectives and my … Continue reading 2019’s Most-Viewed Posts
Y'all I have another Vice piece dropping soon and I have to confess I am HOLIDAYED TF OUT RIGHT NOW. Let's talk endings. Breakups. My wheelhouse. We'll call the first one #1240: "How do I approach a friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore?" Hey Captain Awkward, Here is my dilemma: I am … Continue reading #1240 and #1241: “Closure” Is The Gift You Give Yourself
Hi Captain, Low-stakes question here. I (she/her) have an old, dear friend (she/her) who has recently taken up a new art form. From my limited experience, it seems like she's really good at it! But the subject matter hits on a relatively common phobia I have - let's say she paints enormous, detailed portraits of … Continue reading #1238: “Scripts for when a friend’s art scares you.”
Hi Captain! So… how do you quit something you’ve been a part of for a long time? I’m currently in a long running dungeons and dragons campaign. We’ve been going now for a year and a half and I want out. Ultimately, I’m a different person than I was when the campaign started, and I … Continue reading #1235: “How does one quit a Dungeons & Dragon campaign?
Ahoy, Captain! I (she/her) have lived in a new city for three years, and have made no friends. Or, rather, no outside-of-work friends. I work in a wonderful place with the loveliest people I ever expect to meet, but that delightful cameraderie hasn't translated to IRL hangouts-- for me, at least. It's the kind of … Continue reading #1234: “How do I turn work friends into real friends?”
If you end up trying to negotiate with your feelings, especially Future Feelings that Future You isn't even feeling yet, use action there, too, like: "If this was a mistake and someday I feel the thing I'm so afraid to feel, what (if anything) will I do about it?" Feelings are coming one way or another, you aren't the boss of them but they definitely aren't the boss of you, either. Make friends with them, invite them in, see what they have to tell you. You can decide what to do about them.