Your partner's ex, your partner's friend group, your partner's life choices are your partner's job to manage.
"Good news, I finally persuaded my fiancée to let me sleep with other people, now we can finally act out all my fantasies about you over Zoom!" Whoa, seems sexy!
"Inside this lady are two bigots, one is capable of acting nice sometimes and the other is not, don't feed either of them with your time, sympathy, or attention."
Like the creative writing workshop advice goes, if one person tells you a piece of feedback about your story, that's just their opinion, but if ten people give you the same note, there's probably something worth paying attention to on the input side.
There is "what might be technically owed" and "what is realistic and workable now." In general, don't try to extract the former at the expense of the latter with people you'd like to stay friends with.
Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
Soft rejections, mixing finances, and a primer for dealing with loaded questions.
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
Here is blanket permission to not worry very much about offending people who neither show up to your parties nor ever explain why.
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?