#1238: “Scripts for when a friend’s art scares you.”

Hi Captain, Low-stakes question here. I (she/her) have an old, dear friend (she/her) who has recently taken up a new art form. From my limited experience, it seems like she's really good at it! But the subject matter hits on a relatively common phobia I have - let's say she paints enormous, detailed portraits of … Continue reading #1238: “Scripts for when a friend’s art scares you.”

#1234: “How do I turn work friends into real friends?”

Ahoy, Captain! I (she/her) have lived in a new city for three years, and have made no friends. Or, rather, no outside-of-work friends. I work in a wonderful place with the loveliest people I ever expect to meet, but that delightful cameraderie hasn't translated to IRL hangouts-- for me, at least. It's the kind of … Continue reading #1234: “How do I turn work friends into real friends?”

#1230 and #1231: Conversations that are mostly negotiations with ourselves and our feelings.

If you end up trying to negotiate with your feelings, especially Future Feelings that Future You isn't even feeling yet, use action there, too, like: "If this was a mistake and someday I feel the thing I'm so afraid to feel, what (if anything) will I do about it?" Feelings are coming one way or another, you aren't the boss of them but they definitely aren't the boss of you, either. Make friends with them, invite them in, see what they have to tell you. You can decide what to do about them. 

#1227: “Cool New Friend spooked by ~romantic feelings~ I don’t actually have”

Hi Captain Awkward – TL;DR: one of my partner’s friends became my Cool New Friend, right up until he abruptly pulled back and implied I had romantic feelings for him. I do not. He seems to want to keep hanging out (??!) and I don’t want to make it awkward but this really upset me … Continue reading #1227: “Cool New Friend spooked by ~romantic feelings~ I don’t actually have”

#1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”

Hi Captain! As I've tried to make better friends with her, I've realized that my roommate's GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”