"Inside this lady are two bigots, one is capable of acting nice sometimes and the other is not, don't feed either of them with your time, sympathy, or attention."
Category: Friendship
#1342: “Please help me stop people from assuming that my best friend and I are a couple.”
Like the creative writing workshop advice goes, if one person tells you a piece of feedback about your story, that's just their opinion, but if ten people give you the same note, there's probably something worth paying attention to on the input side.
#1340: “I sat for my friends’ cats for years, but they won’t return the favor now:” Friendship, Favors, and Reciprocity
There is "what might be technically owed" and "what is realistic and workable now." In general, don't try to extract the former at the expense of the latter with people you'd like to stay friends with.
#1338: “*surprised Pikachu face* Another friendship that stresses me out!”
Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
It Came From The Search Terms: June 2021 Is Busting Out All Over
Soft rejections, mixing finances, and a primer for dealing with loaded questions.
#1335: Advice about anxiety about over-committing to in-person hangouts written by a person with ADHD who struggles with time.
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
#1334: “If someone keeps RSVP-ing “yes” but never attending, do I have to keep inviting them to stuff?”
Here is blanket permission to not worry very much about offending people who neither show up to your parties nor ever explain why.
#1333: Multi-Level Marketing Cults & Performative Friendship
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
#1330: “I don’t want this friend as a roommate or a summer houseguest, but my sibling and I sort of already agreed.”
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
#1329: “Is this ever going to work out in my favor?”
When someone says "I don't have romantic feelings for you," take them at their word.
