Thank you all for the kind words and end-of-year donations and patronage that have flowed in over the last week or so. I've been traveling and kind of made a point about not touching my laptop for a week or so, but I read everything and I'm very grateful. ❤ Everyone's doing decade-retrospectives and my … Continue reading 2019’s Most-Viewed Posts
Category: Feminism
#1230 and #1231: Conversations that are mostly negotiations with ourselves and our feelings.
If you end up trying to negotiate with your feelings, especially Future Feelings that Future You isn't even feeling yet, use action there, too, like: "If this was a mistake and someday I feel the thing I'm so afraid to feel, what (if anything) will I do about it?" Feelings are coming one way or another, you aren't the boss of them but they definitely aren't the boss of you, either. Make friends with them, invite them in, see what they have to tell you. You can decide what to do about them.
#1226: “My Boss Is Overly Enthusiastic About My Need To Pump Breastmilk At Work”
Hi Captain! I’m an adjunct professor at a mid-sized University, a new mom, and I just had a very awkward encounter with my department head. I’m teaching one of the sections of my department head’s courses; so myself, the department head and all the other section instructors meet up each week to discuss things and … Continue reading #1226: “My Boss Is Overly Enthusiastic About My Need To Pump Breastmilk At Work”
It Came From The Search Terms: September Song
It's time for the thing where we pretend the search terms people typed into their computers before they landed on this place are actual questions. Context is missing; that's kind of the point. Let's start with a song, as is traditional. Here's Willie, breaking our hearts a little with his cover of "September Song:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9nSgMwtkK0 … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: September Song
#1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”
Hi Captain! As I've tried to make better friends with her, I've realized that my roommate's GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”
Short Questions for August 2019: Part 2 of 2
Hello, monthly feature with short questions from patrons continues from the previous chapter. Q7: I am single in my 40s and have never had a serious long-term partner. I used to think I hadn’t met the right person yet but have recently come to understand that I’m aromantic (and probably demisexual - not ace but … Continue reading Short Questions for August 2019: Part 2 of 2
#1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”
Behind a cut for emotional abuse, misogyny, and discussion of these things as specifically related to recent gun violence and the possibility thereof, which is not what the Letter Writer asked, but definitely something I saw in the question. I did a giant dump of cat photos for patrons if you need to click on … Continue reading #1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”
#1219: “My good friend’s boyfriend keeps ‘negging’ me.”
People are always full of advice for what a woman should do about a man's rude behavior (like patronizing comments or unfunny mean jokes at her expense that don't land right) and it's almost never saying "Bro? No. No, Bro" and expecting him to change his behavior.
IT’S MOTHEREFFING WEDDING SEASON AGAIN, SO LET’S CHAT
:Captain Awkward Opens Mailbox: :Captain Awkward Stares At Mailbox: CONGRATULATIONS, ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED SOON. Let's talk about some stuff I know about weddings. This is probably my one wedding-related post for at least the remainder of 2019. I'm going to try to hit all the bases I know how to help with. … Continue reading IT’S MOTHEREFFING WEDDING SEASON AGAIN, SO LET’S CHAT
Books: “What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence”
"Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to give this book to my mother. To present it to her as a precious gift over a meal that I’ve cooked for her. To say: Here is everything that keeps us from really talking. Here is my heart. Here are my words. I wrote this for … Continue reading Books: “What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence”
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