#1286: “How do I create good art when life is tough and might not get easier?”

Dear Captain, The situation: I (she/her) am a homemaker and mum to a toddler. I’ve suffered from depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia for eighteen years, aka my entire adult life and then some. I’m on meds and pretty much a self-care rockstar, but I still spend LOTS of time and energy coping with pain, fatigue, dizziness, … Continue reading #1286: “How do I create good art when life is tough and might not get easier?”

#1265: Guest Post: Lockdown Co-Parenting: Can I Please Get Some Alone Time? #COVID-19

Hey Captain! I (she/her) really appreciated your response to Miserable In Quarantine. My partner (he/him) and I are fortunately getting along better than ever. It’s nice to remember that we are friends first with all this extra time. Even with (especially with) all this extra closeness, my partner and I totally agree with the importance … Continue reading #1265: Guest Post: Lockdown Co-Parenting: Can I Please Get Some Alone Time? #COVID-19

#1256: Boundaries and parenting, when the adult child might be the problem

Dear Captain, I have read and enjoyed your advice site for several years and appreciate all the work and thought you put into each situation and your response. That being said, as someone who is on the far side of 50, I have noticed that the vast majority of your current audience seems interested in … Continue reading #1256: Boundaries and parenting, when the adult child might be the problem

#1248: “How to set boundaries with someone who just doesn’t listen to me?”

This is another one in a series about difficult parent relationships: A dad who wants to talk on the phone for hours about only the things he wants to talk about and who reminds his daughter, when she tries to set boundaries, that he has nobody else to talk to. It's about guilt and about … Continue reading #1248: “How to set boundaries with someone who just doesn’t listen to me?”

#1246: “Partner with lots of expenses and little income.”

Hey Captain Awkward. I read some of your responses to other writers who had concerns about their partners’ finances, and I feel like this is related but not quite the same. I’m stressed about my boyfriend’s money management skills and how I can help him without getting myself into a bad financial situation. I also … Continue reading #1246: “Partner with lots of expenses and little income.”

#1230 and #1231: Conversations that are mostly negotiations with ourselves and our feelings.

If you end up trying to negotiate with your feelings, especially Future Feelings that Future You isn't even feeling yet, use action there, too, like: "If this was a mistake and someday I feel the thing I'm so afraid to feel, what (if anything) will I do about it?" Feelings are coming one way or another, you aren't the boss of them but they definitely aren't the boss of you, either. Make friends with them, invite them in, see what they have to tell you. You can decide what to do about them. 

#1226: “My Boss Is Overly Enthusiastic About My Need To Pump Breastmilk At Work”

Hi Captain! I’m an adjunct professor at a mid-sized University, a new mom, and I just had a very awkward encounter with my department head. I’m teaching one of the sections of my department head’s courses; so myself, the department head and all the other section instructors meet up each week to discuss things and … Continue reading #1226: “My Boss Is Overly Enthusiastic About My Need To Pump Breastmilk At Work”

It Came From The Search Terms: September Song

It's time for the thing where we pretend the search terms people typed into their computers before they landed on this place are actual questions. Context is missing; that's kind of the point. Let's start with a song, as is traditional. Here's Willie, breaking our hearts a little with his cover of "September Song:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9nSgMwtkK0Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: September Song

#1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”

Hi Captain! As I've tried to make better friends with her, I've realized that my roommate's GF is a very negative person. Several times in a conversation, small talk will be shut down with very honest but also very negative responses that make it hard to move the conversation forward. Some examples: Me: I heard … Continue reading #1224: “When someone wants to be friends but shoots down all small talk attempts.”