How does a gentle reminder about doing your laundry from someone who loves you become an existential struggle? Plus, strategies for changing unhealthy communication patterns that do not rely on *persuading* the other person to change for you. Dear Captain Awkward, What are some good scripts for telling my mother I don't want or need … Continue reading #1281: “Every conversation with my mom is an interrogation of my life choices.”
Category: family
#1278: “My partner is pushing me to start a family before I’m ready.”
Dear Captain My fiancé and I were supposed to get married this April but the wedding was postponed until May 2021 due to the pandemic. We are both in our early 30s. He’s always been keen to start a family, I’m open to having a baby but really want to be married first. This is … Continue reading #1278: “My partner is pushing me to start a family before I’m ready.”
#1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
Behind a cut for mention of physical and emotional abuse of adult children by parents as well as some frustrations and victim-blaming attitudes that are common in friends and support networks of people who are embroiled in abusive situations. Abusers ruin everything, pretty much. Dear Captain Awkward, I (31, nb, he/him) have a friend who … Continue reading #1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
#1274 and #1275: COVID-19 and Family Visits and Weddings
Hi, Captain, To cut to the chase, I (she/her) have an autoimmune disease for which I take several immunosuppressant medications — none of which are working particularly well. My parents are both over the age of 60. You can probably tell where this is going. My sister (she/her) is getting married at the end of … Continue reading #1274 and #1275: COVID-19 and Family Visits and Weddings
#1272: “White Family Facebook Drama Over Police Racism”
Dear Cap, I've (she/her) got White Family Facebook Drama over police racism, regarding my (male) officer cousins, D and A. I began publicly supporting the Black Lives Matter movement in 2016, and they became distant but civil. (It was hard because D and I had been friendly on social media before that, but I didn’t … Continue reading #1272: “White Family Facebook Drama Over Police Racism”
#1271: “I went no-contact with an abusive parent who is dying now. What are the rules here?”
Content notes for alcohol addiction, emotional abuse, illness requiring hospitalization. O Captain, My Captain, My mother was always (imo) an emotionally abusive narcissist. I'm the oldest of 3 and the scapegoat. She became an alcoholic when I was 16 or 17, has been hospitalised with liver failure a number of times in the last 12 … Continue reading #1271: “I went no-contact with an abusive parent who is dying now. What are the rules here?”
#1269: My mother keeps eating my chocolate and it’s making me furious.
Behind a cut for discussions of food & compulsive eating. Hello, This is probably a really, really petty problem, but it’s driving me up the wall. I live with my mother and she’s been eating my chocolate. She’s been doing this ever since I was a little kid, and every single time she’s replaced it … Continue reading #1269: My mother keeps eating my chocolate and it’s making me furious.
Two Pleasing Updates
Who wants good news today? Letter Writer #762 and Letter Writer #1194 both have good news about making happy lives away from controlling and homophobic parents. Hi Captain! Five years ago, I wrote in and became LW 762. I thought I'd give an update. Trigger warning: my mum makes repeated threats of suicide/self harm. Eventually, … Continue reading Two Pleasing Updates
#1265: Guest Post: Lockdown Co-Parenting: Can I Please Get Some Alone Time? #COVID-19
Hey Captain! I (she/her) really appreciated your response to Miserable In Quarantine. My partner (he/him) and I are fortunately getting along better than ever. It’s nice to remember that we are friends first with all this extra time. Even with (especially with) all this extra closeness, my partner and I totally agree with the importance … Continue reading #1265: Guest Post: Lockdown Co-Parenting: Can I Please Get Some Alone Time? #COVID-19
#1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
Hi Captain, My mother and I have always wanted different frequencies of interaction. After I moved out for university, at a holiday party my mother announced the only gift she ever wanted from me was daily phone calls - even her friends were incredulous. She tends to call any hour of the day, hitting redial … Continue reading #1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
