The subject title is the content warning. No graphic details, but the situation is exactly that bad.
How does a gentle reminder about doing your laundry from someone who loves you become an existential struggle? Plus, strategies for changing unhealthy communication patterns that do not rely on *persuading* the other person to change for you. Dear Captain Awkward, What are some good scripts for telling my mother I don't want or need … Continue reading #1281: “Every conversation with my mom is an interrogation of my life choices.”
Hi Captain, I'm the youngest kid in a South Asian family. I've lived with my parents for four years because I have a career in the arts and have only recently started to earn enough money to pay rent and also, like, eat. I've also stayed with them this long because my frail grandma lives … Continue reading #1280: “Am I a terrible daughter for moving out and leaving my mom to care for my grandma?”
Dear Captain My fiancé and I were supposed to get married this April but the wedding was postponed until May 2021 due to the pandemic. We are both in our early 30s. He’s always been keen to start a family, I’m open to having a baby but really want to be married first. This is … Continue reading #1278: “My partner is pushing me to start a family before I’m ready.”
Behind a cut for mention of physical and emotional abuse of adult children by parents as well as some frustrations and victim-blaming attitudes that are common in friends and support networks of people who are embroiled in abusive situations. Abusers ruin everything, pretty much. Dear Captain Awkward, I (31, nb, he/him) have a friend who … Continue reading #1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
Dear Cap, I've (she/her) got White Family Facebook Drama over police racism, regarding my (male) officer cousins, D and A. I began publicly supporting the Black Lives Matter movement in 2016, and they became distant but civil. (It was hard because D and I had been friendly on social media before that, but I didn’t … Continue reading #1272: “White Family Facebook Drama Over Police Racism”
Content notes for alcohol addiction, emotional abuse, illness requiring hospitalization. O Captain, My Captain, My mother was always (imo) an emotionally abusive narcissist. I'm the oldest of 3 and the scapegoat. She became an alcoholic when I was 16 or 17, has been hospitalised with liver failure a number of times in the last 12 … Continue reading #1271: “I went no-contact with an abusive parent who is dying now. What are the rules here?”
Behind a cut for mention of child abuse, sexual abuse, and abuse from a therapist. See also, bullying about weight and fat-shaming. Basically a bingo card of triggering, problematic shit and a very awesome Letter Writer trying to handle it all gracefully. ❤ Dear Captain Awkward, I (31/she) started seeing my partner/boyfriend (33/he) in January … Continue reading #1270: “My mom has always hated my boyfriend. Now she says it’s because he resembles someone who abused her.”
Behind a cut for discussions of food & compulsive eating. Hello, This is probably a really, really petty problem, but it’s driving me up the wall. I live with my mother and she’s been eating my chocolate. She’s been doing this ever since I was a little kid, and every single time she’s replaced it … Continue reading #1269: My mother keeps eating my chocolate and it’s making me furious.
Who wants good news today? Letter Writer #762 and Letter Writer #1194 both have good news about making happy lives away from controlling and homophobic parents. Hi Captain! Five years ago, I wrote in and became LW 762. I thought I'd give an update. Trigger warning: my mum makes repeated threats of suicide/self harm. Eventually, … Continue reading Two Pleasing Updates