The problem with ultimatums is sometimes people take you up on them.
Weird family stuff AND art school? Welcome to my wheelhouse.
Somebody typed it into a search engine and ended up here. Challenge accepted!
"Oh, we just tell people my partner is dying for funsies, that way we can hear all about yoga, religion, and diets in excruciating detail, I love getting medical advice from non-doctors!"
You do not have to show up at unsafe parties even if it makes other people sad, this year or any year.
Wear a seatbelt! Where's your helmet? Will there be parents there? Parenthood requires willingness to say no to lots of fun stuff in the name of safety, there's no time like the present to get started.
Your house, your rules, so spell them out from now on and give your son-in-law a chance to surprise you.
Soft rejections, mixing finances, and a primer for dealing with loaded questions.
Content note/reminder that describing bigotry accurately sometimes includes examples. Followed by the usual reminders that boundaries are more about deciding what you will do than about what you can convince other people to do.
On calling bluffs, escape velocity, and the futile, necessary, but probably still futile, work of reclaiming some of our relatives from history's flaming dumpster. Content note: Sometimes honestly talking about authoritarian stuff and white supremacy means describing it, so there are examples of actual racist and xenophobic statements from relatives herein.