Hi Captain, I'm the youngest kid in a South Asian family. I've lived with my parents for four years because I have a career in the arts and have only recently started to earn enough money to pay rent and also, like, eat. I've also stayed with them this long because my frail grandma lives … Continue reading #1280: “Am I a terrible daughter for moving out and leaving my mom to care for my grandma?”
Category: emotional abuse
#1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
Behind a cut for mention of physical and emotional abuse of adult children by parents as well as some frustrations and victim-blaming attitudes that are common in friends and support networks of people who are embroiled in abusive situations. Abusers ruin everything, pretty much. Dear Captain Awkward, I (31, nb, he/him) have a friend who … Continue reading #1277: “Abuse, agency, and the limits of advice.”
#1276: “Setting boundaries when there’s a significant power difference (and you’re the one with less)”
Hi Captain, I’m wondering if you have a script for setting boundaries where there’s a significant power differential. Briefly, I’ve recently hired a lawyer who specializes in disability rights to represent me in a human rights case against a corporation that discriminated against me based on my mental health disability. The lawyer is very competent, … Continue reading #1276: “Setting boundaries when there’s a significant power difference (and you’re the one with less)”
#1270: “My mom has always hated my boyfriend. Now she says it’s because he resembles someone who abused her.”
Behind a cut for mention of child abuse, sexual abuse, and abuse from a therapist. See also, bullying about weight and fat-shaming. Basically a bingo card of triggering, problematic shit and a very awesome Letter Writer trying to handle it all gracefully. ❤ Dear Captain Awkward, I (31/she) started seeing my partner/boyfriend (33/he) in January … Continue reading #1270: “My mom has always hated my boyfriend. Now she says it’s because he resembles someone who abused her.”
It Came From The Search Terms: Spring 2020
We are overdue for the blog feature where I answer the search strings people typed in to find this place as if they are questions. Let's do it! First, as is traditional, a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ccC4aULow RIP to one of the coolest, realest artists I was lucky enough to share the space-time continuum with. :cries … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Spring 2020
#1248: “How to set boundaries with someone who just doesn’t listen to me?”
This is another one in a series about difficult parent relationships: A dad who wants to talk on the phone for hours about only the things he wants to talk about and who reminds his daughter, when she tries to set boundaries, that he has nobody else to talk to. It's about guilt and about … Continue reading #1248: “How to set boundaries with someone who just doesn’t listen to me?”
#1247 “I went no-contact with my mother and it’s turned her into a bogeyman”: Anxiety, Anticlimax, and the Aftermath of Estrangement.
I've gotten a bunch of letters about family weirdness and estrangement and boundaries (weird, almost like there was a series of events in the last month that forced a lot of family togetherness, can't think would have caused all these old wounds to re-open at the same time? 😉 ) and I'm going to put … Continue reading #1247 “I went no-contact with my mother and it’s turned her into a bogeyman”: Anxiety, Anticlimax, and the Aftermath of Estrangement.
2019’s Most-Viewed Posts
Thank you all for the kind words and end-of-year donations and patronage that have flowed in over the last week or so. I've been traveling and kind of made a point about not touching my laptop for a week or so, but I read everything and I'm very grateful. ❤ Everyone's doing decade-retrospectives and my … Continue reading 2019’s Most-Viewed Posts
#1243: “Broaching a service dog with dismissive family.”
Ahoy Captain, This past year I (31/F) finally received a diagnosis for what I've been struggling with for over half my life. I have Complex PTSD/PTSD (I'll spare you the differences and overlaps) (Ed. Note: No worries! I, Jennifer, will link people to a basic explainer.) Encouraged by my therapist I shared the PTSD with my … Continue reading #1243: “Broaching a service dog with dismissive family.”
“We Are Spartacus!”: Open Thread & Resources On Family Estrangement And Adult Relationships With Difficult Parents
Whenever I write about difficult parent stuff (like yesterday) my inbox immediately gets filled with more difficult parent and family estrangement stuff, which makes sense because, people find out they aren't alone and I have quite a lot to say about difficult parent stuff. It takes...a lot...to write about my family and I know I … Continue reading “We Are Spartacus!”: Open Thread & Resources On Family Estrangement And Adult Relationships With Difficult Parents
