Maybe your avoidant parent will be so avoidant that he'll do what you want in order to avoid conflict.
"Oh, we just tell people my partner is dying for funsies, that way we can hear all about yoga, religion, and diets in excruciating detail, I love getting medical advice from non-doctors!"
When you want to share an extremely mood-ruining thing (death of a parent) without ruining the mood: Be brief and direct, and let other people be nice to you for a minute.
Content notes for alcohol addiction, emotional abuse, illness requiring hospitalization. O Captain, My Captain, My mother was always (imo) an emotionally abusive narcissist. I'm the oldest of 3 and the scapegoat. She became an alcoholic when I was 16 or 17, has been hospitalised with liver failure a number of times in the last 12 … Continue reading #1271: “I went no-contact with an abusive parent who is dying now. What are the rules here?”
Content note: Mention of suicide Dear Captain Awkward 2 weeks ago my boyfriend (he/him/his) of 2 years made the decision to break up with me (cis/female). I moved out of our shared house and back with my parents and sister. I did not want the relationship to end and I hoped we could have worked … Continue reading #1250: How do I support my (very-recently) ex-partner through his complex grief?
Hello, monthly feature with short questions from patrons continues from the previous chapter. Q7: I am single in my 40s and have never had a serious long-term partner. I used to think I hadn’t met the right person yet but have recently come to understand that I’m aromantic (and probably demisexual - not ace but … Continue reading Short Questions for August 2019: Part 2 of 2
Content note: Letter mentions the long-ago death of a child. Dear Captain Awkward, Almost 14 years ago, my second child was born and died the next day. We received a very serious medical diagnosis mid-way through the pregnancy, so his death was not entirely unexpected. When he died, there was already a lot of drama … Continue reading #1210: “My sister offers annual grief support that I don’t want.”
Dear Captain Awkward, After almost a year of planning, we're in the home stretch before my wedding day in early May. Everything was lining up smoothly until I reached out for RSVPs that hadn't been received yet, namely my stepdad, my aunt, and my grandmother (my dead mom's sister and mother). These are my only … Continue reading #1188: Grief and the empty chairs at the wedding feast.
Hi Captain, My estranged father is about to die (I am working with family to make the degree of peace with which I feel comfortable). My mother died about a decade ago. Besides the problem of anticipatory grieving and emotions feelings around an estrangement, I am struggling with a desire not to go to his … Continue reading #1187: “People from my past at my estranged father’s funeral (do not want).”
Dear Captain, I've been out as a trans man for about three years. I came out to all of my extended family, with the exception of my grandfather. This was because he's increasingly doesn’t have a great grasp of what’s happening around him, and my parents thought it would be too hard to explain it … Continue reading #1101: “My dying grandfather doesn’t know I’m trans.”