Yes! It is time! Time to treat the search strings people typed in right before they washed up on these blog shores as if they are actual questions! Inside: Mask etiquette, reformed Nice Guy™ apologies, overly-neighborly neighbors, favor-sharking defined, and more.
Category: creeps
It Came From The Search Terms: Spring 2020
We are overdue for the blog feature where I answer the search strings people typed in to find this place as if they are questions. Let's do it! First, as is traditional, a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ccC4aULow RIP to one of the coolest, realest artists I was lucky enough to share the space-time continuum with. :cries … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Spring 2020
#1236: “My ex keeps gnawing at the edges of my work and social life.”
Behind a cut for mention of consent violations. Hi Captain, I (she/her) divorced my ex (he/him) a year ago. There were a lot of reasons, but one reason was constant sexual pressure to perform and do things I don't enjoy. This pressure usually took the form of guilt trips, but once escalated to a situation … Continue reading #1236: “My ex keeps gnawing at the edges of my work and social life.”
#1229: “Is it unfair or mean to only hug some members of a group or family?” (Answer: NOPETY NOPE NOPE NOPETEPUS TO NOPETOWN!)
How many times would you keep trying to hug someone who told you they didn't like it? Zero is the correct answer, so why won't this dude back off?
It Came From The Search Terms: September Song
It's time for the thing where we pretend the search terms people typed into their computers before they landed on this place are actual questions. Context is missing; that's kind of the point. Let's start with a song, as is traditional. Here's Willie, breaking our hearts a little with his cover of "September Song:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9nSgMwtkK0 … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: September Song
#1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”
Behind a cut for emotional abuse, misogyny, and discussion of these things as specifically related to recent gun violence and the possibility thereof, which is not what the Letter Writer asked, but definitely something I saw in the question. I did a giant dump of cat photos for patrons if you need to click on … Continue reading #1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”
It Came From The Search Terms: Cruel Summer
Hello! Search terms have piled up, let's do the thing where we answer the search strings people typed in that led them here as if they are questions. Context is missing (by design), so expect some comedy answers in between with the sincere stuff. Let's kick things off with a song. Have I used this … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: Cruel Summer
#1221: “My husband’s friend Hulked out on him/us, accused us of bullying him, and isn’t taking our calls. Is it because he has a crush on me, and do I need to do anything about that?”
Dear Captain Awkward, Yesterday night, seemingly out of nowhere, my husband “Andy” (he/him) got a message from a friend of ours, “Marc” (he/him). In this very long message, Marc wrote that he felt hurt and attacked by Andy during his recent (2-3 days ago) visit to our house. Marc used words like "venomous" and "vitriol" … Continue reading #1221: “My husband’s friend Hulked out on him/us, accused us of bullying him, and isn’t taking our calls. Is it because he has a crush on me, and do I need to do anything about that?”
#1220: “Is this guy constantly texting me after I told him not to because he ‘doesn’t understand’ boundaries or because he doesn’t care about them?”
Dear Captain Awkward, I ( 27, she/her) have an acquaintance (29, he/him) who is not neurotypical (he told me this). His preferred mode of communication is texting and he frequently tries to have long, involved text conversations with me. I was pretty tolerant of this at first, but it’s gotten a bit wearing. I’ve told … Continue reading #1220: “Is this guy constantly texting me after I told him not to because he ‘doesn’t understand’ boundaries or because he doesn’t care about them?”
#1219: “My good friend’s boyfriend keeps ‘negging’ me.”
People are always full of advice for what a woman should do about a man's rude behavior (like patronizing comments or unfunny mean jokes at her expense that don't land right) and it's almost never saying "Bro? No. No, Bro" and expecting him to change his behavior.
