Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
"Tell me your phone number and exactly where you live so I can judge if you are a SERIOUS STUDENT." Yikes.
When someone who can't say no and someone who won't take no for an answer become friends and form an awkward puzzle of dysfunction.
To avoid the trap of trying to satisfy a group member who can never be satisfied, think about what you owe everybody else.
Your partner's ex, your partner's friend group, your partner's life choices are your partner's job to manage.
All those guides for how to say "I do", you'd think there'd be way more advice on how to undo it.
It's okay if someone you strongly dislike gets an inkling that the feeling is mutual.
Your house, your rules, so spell them out from now on and give your son-in-law a chance to surprise you.
Let's you and me drive a stake through the heart of NiceGirl™ Summer.
Content note/reminder that describing bigotry accurately sometimes includes examples. Followed by the usual reminders that boundaries are more about deciding what you will do than about what you can convince other people to do.