Soft rejections, mixing finances, and a primer for dealing with loaded questions.
Introducing The Mug of Perpetually Being Mad At You
Content note/reminder that describing bigotry accurately sometimes includes examples. Followed by the usual reminders that boundaries are more about deciding what you will do than about what you can convince other people to do.
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
Here is blanket permission to not worry very much about offending people who neither show up to your parties nor ever explain why.
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
Good fences continue to make good neighbors, metaphorically and literally.
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up with them in your personal space. Re-balance your risk assessments, friend!
When someone says "I don't have romantic feelings for you," take them at their word.
Sometimes when you stop trying to make yourself like someone, it's easier to keep the peace at parties.