Soft rejections, mixing finances, and a primer for dealing with loaded questions.
Category: advice
#1337: About more than a mug: Boundaries, housemates, aggression
Introducing The Mug of Perpetually Being Mad At You
#1336: “Shutting down pressure to see transphobic and homophobic family.”
Content note/reminder that describing bigotry accurately sometimes includes examples. Followed by the usual reminders that boundaries are more about deciding what you will do than about what you can convince other people to do.
#1335: Advice about anxiety about over-committing to in-person hangouts written by a person with ADHD who struggles with time.
When fear of over-committing meets terror of letting other people down, that's where you'll find me and way more than one of you, if my inbox is any indication.
“I want to reach out but I have no idea what to say.”
If you don't know what to say, revert to first principles: Something is probably better than nothing.
#1312: Did I make the wrong decision? And–why can’t I listen to everyone telling me I made the right decision?
I believe the classic phrase is "don't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm."
#1305: “Please help me close up the proverbial ‘woodwork’.”
"Say, Old Bean, it was really fun to have sex for a while, but I'm going to need you to find a new topic of conversation."
Links: The Holidays and What To Do About Them
Weird holidays, weird year.
#1296: “Gender may be made up but it’s still messing with me”
Rae is back, restoring a sense of discovery and play to figuring out who the heck you are.
It Came From The Search Terms: October Symphony (Oct. 2020)
Greetings, it is the time for the periodic tradition where I answer search strings people typed in as if they are questions. First, I want to share a few links - Here I am at Vice, writing about family arguments, and I also want to call attention to S. Bear Bergman's recent post there: How … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: October Symphony (Oct. 2020)