Behind a cut for mention of child abuse, sexual abuse, and abuse from a therapist. See also, bullying about weight and fat-shaming. Basically a bingo card of triggering, problematic shit and a very awesome Letter Writer trying to handle it all gracefully. ❤ Dear Captain Awkward, I (31/she) started seeing my partner/boyfriend (33/he) in January … Continue reading #1270: “My mom has always hated my boyfriend. Now she says it’s because he resembles someone who abused her.”
This is another one in a series about difficult parent relationships: A dad who wants to talk on the phone for hours about only the things he wants to talk about and who reminds his daughter, when she tries to set boundaries, that he has nobody else to talk to. It's about guilt and about … Continue reading #1248: “How to set boundaries with someone who just doesn’t listen to me?”
I've gotten a bunch of letters about family weirdness and estrangement and boundaries (weird, almost like there was a series of events in the last month that forced a lot of family togetherness, can't think would have caused all these old wounds to re-open at the same time? 😉 ) and I'm going to put … Continue reading #1247 “I went no-contact with my mother and it’s turned her into a bogeyman”: Anxiety, Anticlimax, and the Aftermath of Estrangement.
Whenever I write about difficult parent stuff (like yesterday) my inbox immediately gets filled with more difficult parent and family estrangement stuff, which makes sense because, people find out they aren't alone and I have quite a lot to say about difficult parent stuff. It takes...a lot...to write about my family and I know I … Continue reading “We Are Spartacus!”: Open Thread & Resources On Family Estrangement And Adult Relationships With Difficult Parents
Hello, monthly feature with short questions from patrons continues from the previous chapter. Q7: I am single in my 40s and have never had a serious long-term partner. I used to think I hadn’t met the right person yet but have recently come to understand that I’m aromantic (and probably demisexual - not ace but … Continue reading Short Questions for August 2019: Part 2 of 2
Behind a cut for emotional abuse, misogyny, and discussion of these things as specifically related to recent gun violence and the possibility thereof, which is not what the Letter Writer asked, but definitely something I saw in the question. I did a giant dump of cat photos for patrons if you need to click on … Continue reading #1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”
Dear Captain, My husband (he / him / his) is extremely smart and good in his job, has a close relationship with his sister, and good at figuring out mechanical challenges (e.g., setting up a new type of tent) patiently and thoroughly. But I can’t bear the constant criticism. He’s always miffed about something. It … Continue reading #1218: “Irritability and constant criticism in a marriage.”
"Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to give this book to my mother. To present it to her as a precious gift over a meal that I’ve cooked for her. To say: Here is everything that keeps us from really talking. Here is my heart. Here are my words. I wrote this for … Continue reading Books: “What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence”
I'm putting this one behind a cut. A Letter Writer is dealing with some major work burnout and anxiety, and mentions disordered eating (bulimia) and childhood abuse including sexual abuse in passing (no details, just, mentioned). This is a tricky one. Dear Captain Awkward - So – the most important person in my life is … Continue reading #1198: “How do I deal with work burnout and make my partner* happy?” (*My partner = my boss, who is *a* partner in the law firm where I work)
" I don’t think you’re a stalker. I think you need to learn better boundaries to conserve your energy and time."