Just spitballing here, but what if my fellow white people took bigotry in our social spaces incredibly fucking seriously for a change?
On calling bluffs, escape velocity, and the futile, necessary, but probably still futile, work of reclaiming some of our relatives from history's flaming dumpster. Content note: Sometimes honestly talking about authoritarian stuff and white supremacy means describing it, so there are examples of actual racist and xenophobic statements from relatives herein.
What if a) loneliness really sucks and b) finding romantic love is not primarily an internal and external makeover project?
Once upon a time, a kind reader wrote in for advice about her friend, "Mary." Mary just cared about the Letter Writer SO MUCH, you see, that she felt entitled to advise her on any and all of life's challenges, kiss her on the top of the head, take over in the kitchen, recount a … Continue reading Update for #1208: “Question about Mom-friends being Too….’Mothering.'”
Greetings, it is the time for the periodic tradition where I answer search strings people typed in as if they are questions. First, I want to share a few links - Here I am at Vice, writing about family arguments, and I also want to call attention to S. Bear Bergman's recent post there: How … Continue reading It Came From The Search Terms: October Symphony (Oct. 2020)
The subject title is the content warning. No graphic details, but the situation is exactly that bad.
Behind a cut for mention of child abuse, sexual abuse, and abuse from a therapist. See also, bullying about weight and fat-shaming. Basically a bingo card of triggering, problematic shit and a very awesome Letter Writer trying to handle it all gracefully. ❤ Dear Captain Awkward, I (31/she) started seeing my partner/boyfriend (33/he) in January … Continue reading #1270: “My mom has always hated my boyfriend. Now she says it’s because he resembles someone who abused her.”
This is another one in a series about difficult parent relationships: A dad who wants to talk on the phone for hours about only the things he wants to talk about and who reminds his daughter, when she tries to set boundaries, that he has nobody else to talk to. It's about guilt and about … Continue reading #1248: “How to set boundaries with someone who just doesn’t listen to me?”
I've gotten a bunch of letters about family weirdness and estrangement and boundaries (weird, almost like there was a series of events in the last month that forced a lot of family togetherness, can't think would have caused all these old wounds to re-open at the same time? 😉 ) and I'm going to put … Continue reading #1247 “I went no-contact with my mother and it’s turned her into a bogeyman”: Anxiety, Anticlimax, and the Aftermath of Estrangement.
Whenever I write about difficult parent stuff (like yesterday) my inbox immediately gets filled with more difficult parent and family estrangement stuff, which makes sense because, people find out they aren't alone and I have quite a lot to say about difficult parent stuff. It takes...a lot...to write about my family and I know I … Continue reading “We Are Spartacus!”: Open Thread & Resources On Family Estrangement And Adult Relationships With Difficult Parents