When you want to share an extremely mood-ruining thing (death of a parent) without ruining the mood: Be brief and direct, and let other people be nice to you for a minute.
Licensed therapist Rae McDaniel reminds a reader that discomfort is not harm, and trans people aren’t messing up their family events by existing at them.
Dear Captain My fiancé and I were supposed to get married this April but the wedding was postponed until May 2021 due to the pandemic. We are both in our early 30s. He’s always been keen to start a family, I’m open to having a baby but really want to be married first. This is … Continue reading #1278: “My partner is pushing me to start a family before I’m ready.”
Hi, Captain, To cut to the chase, I (she/her) have an autoimmune disease for which I take several immunosuppressant medications — none of which are working particularly well. My parents are both over the age of 60. You can probably tell where this is going. My sister (she/her) is getting married at the end of … Continue reading #1274 and #1275: COVID-19 and Family Visits and Weddings
Dear Cap, I’ve (she/her) got White Family Facebook Drama over police racism, regarding my (male) officer cousins, D and A. I began publicly supporting the Black Lives Matter movement in 2016, and they became distant but civil. (It was hard because D and I had been friendly on social media before that, but I didn’t … Continue reading #1272: “White Family Facebook Drama Over Police Racism”
Hello! It’s Monday! I wrote a piece for Vice about how to ride out quarantine when it means moving back in with the same people you wrote to me for advice about “surviving” holiday visits with. It’s a good match for Miss Conduct’s column this week: “My daughter’s ‘useless’ boyfriend is sheltering in place with … Continue reading Quarantine with difficult family & other “How To Stay In” links. #COVID-19
Hi Captain, My mother and I have always wanted different frequencies of interaction. After I moved out for university, at a holiday party my mother announced the only gift she ever wanted from me was daily phone calls – even her friends were incredulous. She tends to call any hour of the day, hitting redial … Continue reading #1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”
Hello lovely readers! Whenever I write about family estrangement, setting boundaries with family members, difficult parents, etc. a) I’m usually answering a bunch of letters in one, if that makes sense, like, there are many of this kind of question so I am picking one to tackle at length and b) immediately afterward I get … Continue reading Family Estrangement and Personal Bandwidth: A Request
Ahoy Captain, This past year I (31/F) finally received a diagnosis for what I’ve been struggling with for over half my life. I have Complex PTSD/PTSD (I’ll spare you the differences and overlaps) (Ed. Note: No worries! I, Jennifer, will link people to a basic explainer.) Encouraged by my therapist I shared the PTSD with my … Continue reading #1243: “Broaching a service dog with dismissive family.”
Whenever I write about difficult parent stuff (like yesterday) my inbox immediately gets filled with more difficult parent and family estrangement stuff, which makes sense because, people find out they aren’t alone and I have quite a lot to say about difficult parent stuff. It takes…a lot…to write about my family and I know I … Continue reading “We Are Spartacus!”: Open Thread & Resources On Family Estrangement And Adult Relationships With Difficult Parents