My new coworkers are seriously interfering with my productivity.

They’re here.
Meet Henrietta Pussycat (back, with the darker markings) and Daniel Striped Tiger (lying down), adopted via the wonderful Feline Friends Chicago fostering rescue. Check out the tiny watch they photoshopped on Daniel to make him more like his puppet namesake! Obviously he had to keep that name, so Nutella here became Henrietta for the full Mr. Rogers experience.
Daily (hourly?) updates on Twitter whenever they hold still long enough to photograph.
We live in Pittsburgh and just bought tickets to a cardigan party in the Mr. Rogers studio and I am so excited and also these kitties eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
OMG! I just saw the documentary, I loved it so much.
I saw the documentary and wept like a child. Extra poignant as clergy to learn more about how he conceived of the show from the perspective of a ministry to the children of America.
Oh heavens yes. That man saved me. I grew up in a neglectful, emotionally abusive family. He told me I was worth something when no one else in my life did. I used to put on one of his albums, pull the blanket up over my head and pretend Nr. Rogers was in the room with me, telling ME that I was special and worthy of love.
P.S. Can I email you a quick Pittsburgh question?
You can send me one, Captain. And congratulations on your co-captains!
Squeee!!! Kittens on Friday are a wonderful thing.
A perfect beginning to the weekend right?
I think you meant purrfect…
Aaahhh so cute! Congratulations! :3
KITTENS!!!!
TWO KITTENS!!!!!!
That’s four times as much fun as one kitten. Cat math!
Those are some GOOD CATTUMS. Mazel tov to the Awkward family!
Congratulations on the new additions to your family Captain Awkward. They are both super cute and I hope you all have many, many happy years together. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are adorable!! So happy for you and for them. 🙂
Adorable! Congratulations, Captain Awkward Family! May your nose hoops be endless.
WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBORS?
Oh my goodness! They are sooooooo cute.
Look at these babiesssss who could get any work done around those faces
Thank you for understanding.
Currently making all kinds of non-sensible “aww adorable kitties” noises while my own cats look at me like “why don’t you ever say that to us anymore?”
Same!
Exactly what I needed to see today!!! eeee!
This comment is being typed by my ghost because I just looked at this picture and died. OMG they are so cute. I want to put my face directly on them.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
uh-dorable!
Congratulations! From me and my two snuggles (cats)! I knew I’d enjoy cats but I love mine far more than I anticipated! It sounds like you’re already there!
I LOVE THEM. I am SO SAD that I am allergic to cats. We are starcrossed, they and I. For I just want to rub my face all over them, and they just have to give me hives and asthma attacks. I would own so many, so, so many of them. I am a cat person who cannot haz.
I am a person who is allergic to cats but able to control it with daily antihistamines, and this comment made me quite sad both on you behalf, and on behalf of all of the kittens who will got get to be floofed by you.
They are PRECIOUS and I just made the most ridiculously high-pitched “AHHH BABIES” noises. Fortunately, I am working from home today and didn’t scare anyone. Congrats on the lovely friends. ❤
Yay!! Congrats! ^_^
Oh, da kitties!!!
EEEEEEE, they are so precious!! And their names delight me ^_^
(My own chubby, elderly spotted grey tabby is on my lap right now, giving me a Look about the noises I’m making, and slowing down my comment speed because I had to take a break to scruffle her and say that she is my Best Girl.)
So happy for you, Mr. Awkward, and these two lucky rescue kitties, for finding such a loving home!! ❤
So cute! Congrats!
I got my cats 4 years ago ❤
Take a million pictures while they still are young, suddenly they're all grown up (but still amazingly cute)
LOOK AT THESE CUTIE PATOOTIES!
Pardon my shouts.
KITTENS!!! SQUEEE!!!
I’m so happy for you all! Yay kittens!
Congratulations on your new family members!
*unintelligable high-pitched noises*
THE BABIIIIIEEEESSSSS
omg omg omg look how small
Congrats!!!! Kit-tens are so much fun!
OMG I love it!! I’m so pleased for you, they’re going to be a bundle of fun and joy 🙂
EEEEEEEEEEEE! The little girl looks so mischievous. And I love that brown tabby pattern. 🙂 Can we have another pic here tomorrow because Caturday?! Or even a thread! I’ve fostered for years, and last year we adopted two kitten siblings (Dapper and Heidi) and like the obnoxiously proud parent I am I will shove their pics at anyone who stands still long enough. 😛
Also, if your coworkers are affecting your productivity, you should totally check out this advice column archive from a favorite columnist of mine: https://captainawkward.com/tag/coworkers/
😛
*DEAD OF SQUEE*
Congrats! So fun in the first few weeks/months as their individual personalities and quirks emerge. Enjoy the delightful chaos.
AAAAAAAHHHHHH! So excited!
DANIEL STRIPED TIGER I am dying. They are too cute! May they ever use only the litter box, and may your furniture remain unclawed.
Awkward Kittens!!!! Squeee!
Congratulations on being re-owned! I feel sure that they will be a patient team in training you in their versions of Don’t Get Up, I’m Comfortable and I Like Lying On Your Book, Thanks Ever. Remember it’s tough being a very small person who needs to nap so they can sleep later. Also if you do any experiments in putting a cardboard box on your desk to keep them from strolling across your keyboard, I’d like to hear about the results.
Thanks for linking to the Petfinder website! Did you screencap that page with the “Adopted” banner on it?
Henrietta is referred to as a”Baby” -show me the person who can resist that. V excited for you in bringing your new family home. Four months until shiny ornaments and piles of torn wrapping paper, if you do those!
*squee intensifies*
I’m immediately in love. ❤
Giving them cuddles and adoration is your work now.
Aww! Happy gotcha day Henrietta and Daniel!
It is truly a beautiful day in the neighborhood!
Such adorable kitties!g
TEENY BEE BEES
They are the darlingest and I want to snorgle them. Congratulations!
Laughing out loud at this phrase!
KITTEHHHNNNNNNNNSSSS!
I APPROVE OF YOUR NAME CHOICES FOR KITTENS!! ❤
An unbreakable rule in our house is that nobody can ask you to get up and do something if you have a cat in your lap. It works like this: “Can you do the dishes?” “Not right now, I’m being catted.” I strongly recommend this rule for domestic harmony and happy cats.
We call it “Under the Cat Rule.”
My daughter applies the same rule to her snake. “Clean your room, Thing Two!” “I can’t, Mom, I’m lapping the snake.”
In my family and my social circles, having a cat in one’s lap is referred to as “being incapussitated.” 🙂
“Sorry my typing sucks; I’m incapussitated,” is a frequent line in a weekly IRC group, which is invariably followed by “Hi [Cat’s Name]” (or, for chat participants who have more than one cat, sometimes the question, “Which kitty?”) and instructions to the cat’s staff to pet the kitty.
SAME. Usually “can you get me the [thing], I’m becatted.”
Also eeeeeee kittens, etc.!!!
“Cat Paralysis”
Or, as I like to call it, “ailuroplegia.”
TINYCATS!
KITTENS!!!!!
We too have a rule that if there is a cat on your lap, other people have to do things for you. “I’d do it myself,” we say, “But…*indicating cat*.”
It’s an unspoken rule in our house too… I think the time has come to speak of it. Write it in stone. Pen the great religious texts of cat worship. 😀
Rule? I thought that was a law of nature. (There’s also Purrphey’s law that as soon as the person does what you asked, the cat will move.)
What is up with that?!?!
KITTIES *w*
Congratulations on y’all finding each other, hope you’ll be very very happy together ❤
KITTENS! So cute. Congratulations, little ones, your lives are gonna be fantastic.
AWWWWWWWW! They’re utterly adorable, and quite unique. I love tiger kitties, partly because no two are ever alike. Hope yours turn into the LoveCats like mine did!
KITTENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodness but I can’t get enough of those fuzzy wuzzy widdle faces
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Give them some extra pets for me!
Oh my word! They are absolutely gorgeous! 🙂
So adorable!!! More photos please.
We adopted Daniel’s “twin” a year ago (she was abandoned in a local park) and she rules all the other cats in the house.
Apologies for the low resolution avatar photo . . .
*flailSQUEE!*
Congratulations on your new awkward coworkers! They are adorable. 😀
KITTENS
*bangs pots and pans together*
KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS
*gets out a tuba and plays it badly*
KITTEEENSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
*pushes own cat out of way to see kittens*
Yeah I do love you too H, but …
Aww, precious babies ❤ Pictures of kittens always make me happy
Brain…melting…from…the…cute!!!
They are adorable; congratulations on your new family members!
BABIIIIES!!!
They have the same patterns as my kitty! 😻😻😻
Congratulations! Yay kittens!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
thank you that is all.
Congratulations on the new kittens, Captain! I absolutely adore the names. 🙂
I had just written yesterday about losing my sweet little kitty, and this post with your new babies has put such a smile on my face 🙂 thank you for sharing your happiness 🙂
OMG! Henrietta Pussycat and Daniel Striped Tiger are sooooooo adorable! ❤ Congratulations on these fantastic new family members! ❤
Okay, but why does the boy kitten get named Striped Tiger and the girl kitten Pussycat? Why can’t she be Henrietta Feral Sabretooth? Do we really need to push traditional gender roles on pets? *clutches pearls* 😛
Literal LOL at feminist criticism of my cat names (which are Mr. Rogers references)
Although Feral Sabretooth is a lovely cat name. (Makes note for future cats)
It would be particularly amusing to give a very cuddly, sociable cat the name Feral Sabretooth, just to mess with people. I’d change my cat’s name, except she’s used to being Carys since that’s all I’ve called her (well, that and “you silly fuzz-butt” and similar things 😉 ) for the almost three years since I adopted her.
A vet once told me that he’d found cats with names like Fang and Demon to be sweethearts, while the nastiest cat he’d ever had to deal with was named Babydoll. I still LOL.
Congratulations!! What precious tiny stripies 🙂
BABIES.
KITTENS~!!!!!
Kittens make EVERYTHING BETTER!!!!! ❤
KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS KITTENS.
KITTENS.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A tabster and a tabbette! I want to kiss those little noses! And what purrfect names they have. KITTENS! 💕💕
!!!!! you have baby kittens and a friend of mine is getting two livestock guardian puppies and i’m living my best life full of Double Babies. i’m so proud of them and their stripes. please kiss them for me.
Productivity low, morale at an all time high!
Ok so when I saw this post I literally lost my shit. I’ve been a reader of your blog for years, check it constantly, and think about and apply your advice pretty much every day.
I moved to Chicago from Rhode Island a month ago and have been cat shopping for my very first cat child. I’ve been perusing Petfinder, looking for my dream baby. There are a bazillion adorable kitties there, but a couple of weeks ago I saw Daniel Striped Tiger’s profile and like immediately got the mother wolf I need to have this baby RIGHT NOW feeling about him. I emailed the shelter immediately, which is not something I was planning on…I wasn’t even looking for a kitten! I was so convinced I was going to have to adopt Daniel even if I wasn’t quite prepared for it l because he was literally the best (his little watch!!!) that I was asking my partner crazy new mom things like “what does it mean to raise a SON in this world?!?” I barely slept anticipating an answer from the shelter and had dreams about him all night.
When I woke up the next morning to an email from the shelter saying that someone was already meeting him in a few days and that he was part of a bonded pair, I was obviously heartbroken, grieved, and made peace with the fact that he’d have another awesome home.
…………so you can imagine how much my mind was blown when I checked your blog yesterday and saw that your new baby was the one, the only Daniel! So glad that of all the homes in the world, he went to one of my favorite internet heroes. If I can’t have him, at least I know I have access to a constant twitter stream of his life. Give him lots of kisses for me! Also please, please buy him a real little watch.
I am both sorry & not sorry to have stolen your cat from you. He is kind of the greatest (and as much of a snuggler as advertised).
Oh Adeline….https://www.facebook.com/felinefriendschicago/posts/1853644911337557
Oh my god, Captain, stop making me want to foster more. I have at least a month of co-op negotiating before I even might be able to do it.
Daniel and Henrietta are beautiful little babies and I’m sure they’re delighted to have a lovely house to destroy things in! My baby girl is also a brown tabby I fostered with her siblings, and it feels like I could fit her in my palm yesterday but she’ll be a year old in less than three weeks! Enjoy the tiny kitten stage while it lasts…
My sibling’s cat has stunted growth and babyface proportions because of having kittens too young and it’s like someone shrunk her down (slightly) and turned her into two tiny balls of fluff and you adopted them I swear to god. Daniel is the spitting image of our Molly.
Also being British my knowledge of Mr. Rogers is piecemeal at best so thank you for informing me that cat puppets were apparently a thing. My life is brighter for knowing this.
Congratulations!!!
Between you and a friend of mine getting 2 kittens at the same time (bonded pair as well), I am full of jealousy lol. (But if I bring home one more cat, I’m not sure my husband will forgive me!) Enjoy your new kitties!!! Please post plenty of pictures of them too. 🙂
KITTY!!!
So. Cute. All the most adorable cuteness ever. Kittens are the best. Congratulations!
Best kittens!! Congratulation!!!!!!
Is this your first time having kittens? Am so excited for you ❤
I had kittens as a kid, but not on my own so far. Beadie was a yearling, my cat prior to her was also probably a year or two old when I got her. So this is a delight.
aww, so happy for you!!! Living the dream.
Pointless pedantry: The one in the back is what we call a “classic” tabby, the one in front is “mackerel”. They are both the type of kitten known as “adorbs” or “cute” or “absolute sweetiepie”.
(And on that note, the first individually named cat we know about was an Egyptian cat named “Ndjem”, or “Sweetie”. Earlier pet cats are recorded, but just as “miu”, which means “cat”, so we don’t know what names, if any, they went by.)
KITTY!
Congrats, Captain. They’re adorable and I’m happy for you. Everyone should have kitten cuddles! May they never barf in your shoes.
Congrats! And appreciate the posting! More kitten posts pls….
P.S. There is an Awkward People sharing pet photos thread here if people need to look at nice things today.
They are both adorable! Enjoy the kitten phase while it lasts, but beware of the kitten scarf. My youngest cat got into the habit of sleeping on my pillow when she was wee (and it was awesome), but now that she is a giant and I spend a lot of time trying not to be smothered in my sleep.
OMG! They could be litter-siblings to my own purrrfect dork! I’ve been lurking for YEARS, but these adorable babies forced me out of the underbrush.
(While am at it: Oh Captain! You’ve truly made my life brighter, my actions wiser and made me think kinder thoughts about myself, in good as well as bad times. Three Herculean feats I would not have been able to pull off without you! Massive thanks and Jedi hugs from.Sweden!)
Those are the best cat names ever!
oh noooooo they’re so cute!! congratulations 😀