You are not alone in writing a (usually beautifully written, well-spelled) note about how you are looking for someone to hang out with and maybe make out with and cuddle but without pressure or expectation of doing more.
You are not alone in feeling like traditional “dating” situations and advice don’t work for you. Common worries: Too much pressure to “come out” and/or categorize yourself in some way, worried that people won’t be satisfied with what you are able to give, worried about being harassed by 10,000 creepy dudes, body image issues, shame about being a late bloomer.
We’ve covered a lot of this on the site already in other threads about meeting new people and dating, but I get, easily, three or four of these specific (female, somewhere on the queer/bi/ace axis, looking for someone who will go really, really slow with sex stuff) letters per week. You are not alone! You are not alone.
I’m resisting a serious urge to matchmake here, like the way I wanted all the ancient statues without heads to go to a party with all the ancient statue heads when I went to the art museum as a child. But I don’t know where anyone lives and that would be creepy and violate all kinds of anonymity.
Perhaps some kind of open thread could be created in the forums at http://www.friendsofcaptainawkward.com for you to talk to one another? Perhaps you could join one of the conventional dating sites en masse and use a special hashtag or code word in your profiles to find each other?
I wish you sweet blanket forts with respectful, adorable, terrifyingly amazing people like yourselves. But mostly I want you to know: You are not alone.