Hello, I got this email from Zardeenah over the weekend.
Hi! I’m a long time reader and occasionally commenter, but I’d like to get a meetup started here in lovely SF, CA!
I propose Saturday, October 13 from 5 to 7:30 pm (although people are welcome to stay later the bar is open til 11!) In the downstairs lounge at La Trappe Belgian cafe and bar. It’s at 800 Greenwich St in North Beach. It’s pretty roomy, but also popular, so if you know you want to come, please tweet @zardeenah or comment so I can reserve the lounge just for us if necessary!
La Trappe has a very extensive beer menu, but also nonalcoholic choices, as well as food and sweets.
There’s not that much free parking, but we have transit galore! An easy walk from: the cable car, F line streetcar, and the 30, 45, 39, 8x, 10, 12, 47, and 19 busses. We’re also accessible with only one transfer from BART and Caltrain, for those outside SFproper. This is a very safe neighborhood for nighttime walking.
I hope to meet many awesomely awkward new people there!
Awesome! Go and be awkward!
As always, if you’d like to plan your own meetup where you live, check out suggestions here. We’ll be hanging out in Chicago this coming Sunday and Seattle is getting together for happy hour next week.
1) The spam filter is still hungry. It even eats Sweet Machine’s comments sometimes! I do not know what’s up. I moderate comments approximately twice/day and clean it out when I can. Please, if your comment doesn’t show up, don’t post it over and over again. If it doesn’t show up within 24 hours, email me and I’ll see if I can fish it out. Common reasons seem to be: 1) Comment is really, really long. 2) Person is posting multiple comments in quick succession. 3) Comment contains multiple links. 4) Does not appear to fall into any of the above category, so, who knows?
2) If you ever need me to delete a duplicate comment, or you accidentally posted with your real name and need me to fix it (common moderation requests), send me the link to the actual comment. You find this by clicking the date/time the comment was posted. If you send me that it’s very easy for me to fix.
3) Real Talk: My inbox is swamped with hundreds of questions and I have no good system for triage beyond “Do I have something to say about this?” + “Do I have time right now?” Tertiary concerns include: “Does this build nicely on something we discussed recently” + “Is this a nice break from a topic we’ve covered extensively recently?” + “Which of these multiple very similar questions provides the best jumping-off point that will hopefully help the other people extrapolate?” + “Which letter gets to the point and isn’t a wall of text and backstory?” Except for that last bit, that’s not a rubric you can really tailor your life problems for, so keep doing what you’re doing. I just want to manage people’s expectations about turnaround time. Often new questions are the easiest to answer as they come in vs. digging through frankly overwhelming backlog to find something good.
Mostly these are very good problems related to increased traffic and visibility for the site, but there are some growing pains. Especially when people write with heart-wrenching, serious, urgent stuff that I know I won’t get to in a reasonable time period. So, if you have some serious stuff going on right now, and you need someone to talk with you right now, may I suggest:
- Suicide Hotlines – National and by US State (Seriously, don’t kill yourself).
- Domestic Abuse Hotline
These are US-based links, so if you are outside the US search for something similar in your location. Maybe we can compile a list of such resources. Inside the U.S. I feel very comfortable saying that somewhere in there a nice volunteer will listen to you without judgment and try to steer you toward more help.
As a favor, if you sent me a question a while ago and the problem has since cleared up on its own or been handled, forward me the old question and let me know what’s up.
The archives are searchable, so it’s possible we’ve answered something similar to what you have going on. For example, if you are new to dating or nervous & insecure about dating, we covered it. Thoroughly.
Thanks for your understanding and patience.