A couple of weeks ago I started dating this guy. One evening we were with another couple and he was doing whiskey shots with one of our friends. He seemed sober and I didn’t think anything of it, but he texted me later to apologize, which I thought was classy. That was our fourth time getting together and the first time we were intimate.
We had a date planned for tonight. Last night I was home alone and under the influence of an intoxicant. I told him I wasn’t really up for chatting but I was looking forward to tonight. Half an hour later he called again and dumped me.
I think it was hypocritical of him, and not doing me the courtesy of having a sober and preferably in-person conversation was immature and tacky. He thinks we weren’t serious enough for it to matter. Am I being unreasonable?
Last week, we all agreed that the text-message breakup of a serious long-term (they lived together!) relationship was in poor form. Because it was.
In the early stages of dating, only a couple of weeks in, I can get behind the e-breakup or the phone-breakup.
Rejection sucks. We tell ourselves the lie that it would suck less if the person had just handled it differently. So, I’m sorry that happened to you. It sucks. You absolutely did deserve a real conversation while both parties were sober and I understand why you’re pissed.
But if he’d sat you down in a velvet booth and explained it to you gently while looking deeply into your eyes, you’d still be just as dumped as you are right now. Once the sting of rejection relaxes a bit and you’ve had a chance to move on, maybe take what happened as a gift. He broke up with you in a crappy way that shows that he would have been a crappy partner for you in the long run. Get good and pissed off! It lessens the temptation to pine.
Wanting him to apologize for how he did things is understandable, but engaging with him further to get the apology isn’t going to bring back the good times. It’s just going to keep you engaged with a person who treated you badly.
I’m sorry. It sucks and it wasn’t your fault and you deserved better.
Jedi-buying you a Jedi drink,