smeagol with a party hat holding a rabbit

I started this blog in the middle of an email thread with my lady friends about deciding where to eat brunch. (Answer: Wave) I had flirted with blogging before, starting a semi-professional blog (completely made obsolete by the awesome Short of the Week) and a food blog (Pretty recipes! Sometimes read by 20 people a day!)

I had recently had a few Difficult Conversations that had gone better than expected and reminded me that “Hey, speaking up with words works sometimes!” I had learned how to set and communicate boundaries the very hard way, and I had sort of learned how to have feelings (vs. Thoughts about what my feelings might or should be) and maybe my Years of Therapy could pay off for others? Also, I wanted to write something that was weird, blunt, and vulnerable and where I could use swears if I wanted  write how I talk in real life without a filter or worrying about what people think. I’m an avid reader of advice columns for story material, so why not see if I could muck about in people’s stories?

I had no idea that it would become a Thing, with*:

African Violets

Darth Vader Boyfriends

Party Smeagol

The Art of No (an ongoing series and recurring theme)

The Golden Retriever/Kwisatz Haderach of Love

Jedi Hugs


Ill-Fitting Pants


Marie Claire’s Rich!

The Jerkbrain

…and this awesome community of commenters and guest posters who make me laugh and push me to keep writing and to do better.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sending your stories. Over the last year this place was a constant source of creative joy, support, and humor for me. You guys were an anchor during a shit**year.

I Jedi hug you all.


*That list should catch new readers up on most of the in-jokes, yes?

**Literally – on December 30 a pigeon pooped into my open hand as if to say “A parting gift from 2011, sucker!” I cannot make these things up.

37 thoughts on “Blogaversary!

  1. Those pants will forever remain some of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. Happy anniversary, Cap’n!

  2. *Throws confetti*

    You are my new favorite blog, and the only blog I have an email subscription to, to keep me from checking 20 times a day to see if you’ve posted. Congrats on the blogaversary!


    I would bake a cake if I trusted my oven. But my offer to buy you a drink if you ever come to Boston still stands.

    And I love the guest posters AND the commentariat here. This is one of the few places I actually read comments and leave comments anymore.

    1. Thanks, I actually do get to Boston once a year or so, so maybe some kind of meetup can happen.

      As for the comments, I take my cues from Anil Dash.

  4. Oh, you deserve to be congratulated umpteen times for braving the treacherous emotional waters that engulf all of us and offering your gifts of incredible insight, wisdom, and kindness, JenniferP!!! THANK YOU!!!

    1. Back at you, smart and lovely lady! I forgot to mention in the awesome things above: FRIENDS.

  5. “A process cannot be understood by stopping it. Understanding must move with the flow of the process, must join it and flow with it.”

    Happy Blogaversary!

  6. wow! congrats! you have largely changed my life, validated things i knew but didn’t know i knew, and helped me navigate a lot of situations in the past year. so thank you so much for your presence, and your contribution to the internets. you are one of the good ones.


  7. Happy Day! I forget how I found your blogge, but it is totally fucken cool: excellent analysis of interpersonal relationships and internal thought processes, as well as written extremely entertainingly.

  8. Congrats! This has been a really fun blog to follow. Keep up the good work.

  9. Happy Blogoversary!

    Your blog is my very favourite. It’s helped me learn a bit more about dealing with things in a grown-up ‘use your words’ way (as opposed to my old ‘flee from any and all conflict and PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE’ approach).

    This place is a constant source of affirmation that, yes, sane and lovely people DO populate the internet, even when YouTube comments tempt me to think otherwise.

    So, keep on truckin’, Cap’n, and may your 2012 kick all kinds of booty.

    1. That makes me very happy to know. I had to learn that stuff the hard way as an adult, so glad I can pass it on.

  10. I don’t comment here much (although I want to change that) but I do love this blog, both for your thoughtful responses and the fantastic commenters. Like Nomie said above, I’m glad this is one of the only places online I don’t tell myself “Jesus, DON’T ever read comments!” so thanks for doing your best to keep this place asshole-free.

    Hooray! *throws confetti*

  11. hooray, I’m glad such a cool lady is inclined to share her wisdom with the rest of us, I can’t count how many times advice from this blog has come in handy, I’m forever telling people to read it too.

  12. woot! Happy blogaverasry Capitan of Awesomeness! I think I started reading this blog not long after you began it, finding it via Holly Pervocracy I believe. Or maybe vice versa.

    Thanks for answering our many questions and your amazing advice. I have learned so much reading your words. And CommanderLogic and InternPaul and all the other guests, thank you also. 😀

  13. Wait, you went from having thoughts about feelings to actually having feelings? Care to share any wisdom on how to do this? (Or can you point me to a post where you’ve already discussed it?)

  14. Happy Blogiversary! I’m frequently asking myself these days when I have a problem “What would the Captain do?” and finding out that if I do it your way, things generally get better. So thanks for helping me improve my life with your vast stores of knowledge. If you ever make it to London, first pint’s on me.

  15. Happy blogaversary! This is certainly the most stellar blog I’ve ever visited. I admit, I often read your blog instead of the news. More fun, and more helpful. I appreciate each day you remain willing to share your wisdom with the masses. Wishing you a happy 2012.

    And, those pants are the worst I have ever seen.

  16. Congratulations! I was watching the premiere of The Bachelor (yeah, I know) earlier this week and I found myself thinking “Sheesh, clearly these ladies need to read Captain Awkward and realize that it is NOT A GOOD IDEA to invest so much energy and emotion into falling in love with the idea of a person before even meeting that person!” I tried to tweet it but couldn’t wrestle the thought into 140 characters!

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