I’m liking this SexyTypewriter post. They’re talking about heterosexual relationships, but the principle applies to him, her, hir, they, and ou.
People who like you will act like they like you.
And it will be easy to hang out with people you like who also like you. Even if someone gets busy, they will say “I am busy right now, can I call you in a few weeks” and when the busy time ends they will call you or respond enthusiastically to your invitation. And you won’t have to interpret and analyze the signals that much – when it’s working, the signals look like “Hey, that was great, can we do that again?” “I was hoping you’d say that! Want to go to this thing with me next week?” “Yes, yes I do.” “You’re neat!”
Friendship is a relationship between two people who feel a mutual spark and connection. It’s not a “zone” where you banish people you don’t want to have sex with but don’t feel comfortable ditching because they have no obvious dealbreakers. Meeting someone and figuring out that they are One of Your People is magical and awesome whether you meet as friends or as potential romantic partners. That click in the universe is the same. That’s why here at Captain Awkward Dot Com Enterprises we don’t date people who aren’t as cool as our friends.
I like Sofi’s closing thought: “Just do your best and don’t worry” and am stealing it forever.