My friend and Agony Aunt colleague Robin “Miss Conduct” Abrahams has written an excellent piece that combines two of my favorite things: Better Caul Saul and boundaries. Kim Wexler, a character on the show, is a master of boundaries and you don’t have to watch to appreciate the piece.
Piny linked me to this great piece from Heather Havrilesky, “Can I trust my judgment around men?” It’s very relevant to our discussions of the
Darth Vader partner and how they come on so strong and magically at the beginning (bolding mine):
When you meet someone who’s charming and very intense and he immediately starts talking about long-term goals for love and marriage and kids, that’s a seductive thing. In my experience, that kind of intense talk can actually be a sign of trouble, a sign that the guy is trying to quickly correct all the mistakes of the past and award himself a “happily ever after” without knowing much about the person in front of him. The one time I met someone who talked this way, it was hard not to get caught up in it. So this is how it feels to finally meet The One! I thought. You both just know, immediately, that you’re meant for each other! After years of encountering caution and hesitation from dates and even boyfriends, I was thrilled to find someone who could recognize in an instant HOW GREAT I WAS.
Even once I discovered that he was newly separated and still reeling from his wife’s sudden exit, I didn’t give up. I didn’t recognize that he was handling his sadness by escaping into something new, something that HAD to lead to marriage to make up for what he’d just lost. Looking back, I can’t believe I could be so dumb. But at that point, I had never experienced that kind of confident intensity from a man. He was also older than me. After years of dating one man-child after another, I thought I was meeting a mature adult male for the first time.
Hello, 31-year-old me staying up all night on the phone with some guy who talked really big. Hello younger versions some of you, too. Jedi Hugs to our younger selves, and to our older, wiser selves.
There is a Washington, D.C. Meetup in the works for April 26. Details:
Washington, DC Meetup
Rubymendez and Flightless have arranged an event in DC.
Time/place: Sunday, 5pm April 26th at Dupont Circle’s THE BOARD ROOM (http://boardroomdc.com/)
They serve happy-hour-priced drinks from 5-7pm on Sundays, with board games for rent — EVERY board game you can think of! They don’t serve food, but they allow you to bring in food, or get it delivered, so hopefully all dietary needs can be accommodated. For instance, you could grab empanadas from Julia’s down the street and bring them over (we will have some bites to share!)
To find us: rubymendez will be wearing a rainbow winter hat; flightless has blue hair and will be wearing a railway conductor’s hat. Feel free to rock your own hats, rainbows, or zany garb! We’ll also have stickers or blank nametags you can customize as desired.
You can post on our DC Meetup thread in the forums if you have questions.
FEELINGSNOTE: I MISS D.C. IN SPRINGTIME AND JULIA’S EMPANADAS. Have the best time. If you’re in Chicago and you did your taxes already stop by the Awkward Meet & Geek tomorrow at Geek Bar anytime between 6 and 10 pm and say hello. I’m also reading at That’s All She Wrote on Sunday night, April 19, Great Lakes Tattoo, 8 pm, BYOB/Free admission.
Finally, we have traced the creator of the Riding-The-Nopetepus gif if you wish to marvel at its glory: